this could be determination.
written: 5:27 p.m. on Sunday, Jul. 11, 2004

The most important news of the millennium: There is an annoying ache in the left side of my neck that has been present for a few days now, and it's annoying. My sleep is disrupted, I can't turn my head without cringing in complete agony, and I'm just plain bloody uncomfortable.

Oh, my beloved feather pillow, it's all your fault. I love you as you are so soft and comfortable but I know you are the culprit.

And I just sneezed, which caused my head to slightly lurch forward, hence bringing on the ache.

If I go on like this, I think I will die for sure.

***

So yesterday my mom and I went to school for the parent/teacher shit. Yeah. History teacher requested to see my mom, despite the fact that I was one of the two people in class to pass (albeit extremely marginally... fine, it was a damn 50%) and it wasn't very nice.

The usual "Yelen has the potential to get an A in this subject" aside, History teach basically said this: "Yelen is lazy."

Wahoo. Bring on the bloody marching band. This is really bad, you know. The consensus regarding my academic abilities seems to be this: "Brilliant but lazy", and yes, that is a quote directly out of "Spider-Man 2" which I saw last Monday and absolutely loved.

Okay, so I'm really going to start cramming from now onwards because I think it's time I tell myself that good grades will not drop from the sky simply because I want them. Yes, I've been spoilt rotten by my folks so it's like, whatever I want I will get, or else, but I don't think I can go into the exam hall come November and become a genius simply because I will it to happen.

I'm a realist now, no longer an idealist, and so I'm just going to fucking study, as impossible as that may seem.

Still trying to decide if I should study at home or in school though.

Benefits of studying at home:

1. I get to have nice lunch everyday;
2. I get to have nice coffee everyday (the coffee I make is much better than the one from the cafe);
3. I get to have Japanese green tea if I feel like having it.

Benefits of studying in school:

1. No distractions, a la the computer/the things around my room/the view from my room (I spent about an hour this afternoon watching the people across the street and nothing happened at all)/whatever else that distracts me, oh yes, the newspaper/books/my music;
2. Free air-con;
3. A pseudo-condusive environment.

I'm quite for studying in school actually, and I would whole-heartedly do it, if it weren't for the fact that I would then have to eat canteen food for lunch every day and that is a thought enough to make me hurl.

Also, if I had to have lunch in school every day, my newly-found quest to save 90% of my weekly allowance would be sadly thwarted.

And I need to save because I need money, and I need money because I dreamt last night that I was buying skirts and I was really happy but without money, nothing could be bought, so the logic is fairly obvious.

Oh, I don't know. I'd just see about the mood that I'm in.

***

I'm also seriously contemplating going to the utterly-detestable Bulldog for help in terms of attempting to figure out what the fuck is wrong with my prac crit.

Because I don't know at all. I don't understand what it is that I don't understand. And honestly, this is not surprising, considering the depth of my self-understanding, but yeah.

Once again, my decision regarding whether or not I'd do it would ultimately depend on the degree of receptiveness (or whatever) I would feel towards her in class on Tuesday. If I am feeling positive, I would ask to see her after school. Otherwise, fer-get the hell about it.

The point: Yelen is undecided and Yelen would play it by ear come Tuesday.

***

Had dim sum today. I fucking love my race because our food rocks. Yes. Mom spent about a hundred bucks on lunch though, supposed to be a little celebration thingy for my birthday which is... next Wednesday.

I am ignoring that thought and avoiding another rant on the absolute futility and stupidity of celebrating the fact that we are a year closer to death and I am moving on with the original point.

Yes, so I was thinking that I would rather spend a hundred bucks on clothes rather than food, if given the choice.

Um, that's all.

Now I'm back to reading the fiscal policy notes. I was going to start but the whole shit on taxes and whatnot in front was screaming at me, like, "We are boring. Do not read us. We induce sleep. Go do something else."

Hence this entry.

Before I really stop: Watched Mean Girls with Mel and Princess on Friday at JP. Was swell. I love my mates.

Hello, Boring Notes on Taxes and Other Retarded Shit! How are you doing!

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010