Last day of school of 2001
written: 4:47 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 01, 2002

Yesterday I had to go back to school for spring-cleaning. (School officially starts tomorrow, the 2nd of January.) It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...I'm not quite sure why I thought it was going to be bad in the first place. I was there early, as usual, and I brought along my diary and the book I write my sorry excuse for poems in. I've find that writing is sort of my salvation. Whenever I think of school, I get this indigestable dread that starts from the pit of my stomach, and travels all the way up to my throat, like bile, until I feel I can't breathe. But the very thought of still being able to write (and read) calms me.

Anyway. I was going to sit down somewhere and write when I rummaged around in my bag and realised I didn't bring a pen. Of all the stupid things I do! But it was okay, I spent a few minutes in the toilet being vain, and found one of my friends outside the hall, where we were supposed to gather (like sheep), so it was good.

But the alienation. The Great Divide, or The Big Rift. It seems to get wider and wider, until you could fit my entire school in it (and my school is very, very, very big; 3000 students in total, primary school included). And just before dismissal, we were gathered back in the hall again after we were sent to our classes to clean it (my teacher made me wipe the windows; she always does that), I sat beside my best mate. Even with her beside me, and another classmate on my left, and all the people around, I felt like I was the only person in the hall. I can't explain it, and will not attempt to, but it's not a nice feeling. Solitude is one thing; alienation is another. I seek solace in solitude, but not the latter.

I did finish my geography homework, more or less anyway. I have a knack for shit like that, last minute work and all. I can sit down and finish something if I really want to, and I finished my 2-month holiday homework in about 5 hours. I could really use this trait or whatever to my advantage, but, I think it's in the blood too, I'm just so lazy. But I can't be. Major exam at the end of the year, and I need to get 6 A's. So, yeah. We'll see.

And also, after school yesterday, I went to see "Lord of the Rings" again with my friends. Had lunch at Marche, and "due to the holiday season", they imposed a minimum (sp) entry fee of $15. God! I wasn't going to go, but my friends wanted to, with the exception of my best mate, so, you know, majority wins and shit like that. But 15 dollars! I'm a fucking student, for chrissakes! It's also the economic crisis! And the holiday season! I thought one was supposed to give, not take! And lunch was horrible. I had this crappy potato thingy, I forget what it's called. It wouldn't be that bad if I shared it with someone, because the more you eat it, the more vile it is. And I had to eat $15 worth of food, because I'm not giving my money away free to them, so I actually got DESSERT! Me who does not like food! I got dessert for lunch, ha, what a joke.

"LOTR" was great, as always, even after having seen it twice before. All my friends liked it, and all of them liked Legolas. Can't blame them, he's so yummy. I still have a soft spot for Aragorn and, of course, the Hobbits. During one of the funny Hobbit scenes (can't remember if it was Merry or Pippin who said something really funny), someone behind me said something like, "They're so cute!" And when Gandalf was hanging off the bridge in the mine, and there was no music or dialogue, and the place was silent, one girl in the audience cried out, "Go and save him!" When she realised it was loud enough for everyone to hear, she and her laughed to themselves. I don't know, I found that interesting.

Happy New Year to you.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010