speaking out
written: 10:11 p.m. on Friday, Jan. 18, 2002

Many believe that schizotypal personality disorder represents mild schizophrenia. The disorder is characterized by odd forms of thinking and perceiving, and individuals with this disorder often seek isolation from others. They sometimes believe to have extra sensory ability or that unrelated events relate to them in some important way. They generally engage in eccentric behavior and have difficulty concentrating for long periods of time. Their speech is often over elaborate and difficult to follow.

Most of what's written above does not reflect who I am, or at least the person I think I am. While it is true that I seek isolation from others, it is not brought about by "odd forms of thinking and perceiving". Sometimes, people tend to want to be alone. They need it like water and oxygen. Fuck, it's normal. I just happen to need it more than the average Joe. (That thing about having difficuilty concentrating is too true...I'm doing my "Reflections" now, and this at the same time...ha.)

Antisocial

A common misconception is that antisocial personality disorder refers to people who have poor social skills. The opposite is often the case. Instead, antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of conscience. People with this disorder are prone to criminal behavior, believing that their victims are weak and deserving of being taken advantage of. They tend to lie and steal. Often, they are careless with money and take action without thinking about consequences. They are often agressive and are much more concerned with their own needs than the needs of others.

BULLSHIT! THIS IS NOT ME! Lack of conscience? Okay, so explain my 3/4 vegetarianism then! I could just forget the whole thing and start eating cows and chickens again, 'cause I really do miss them a lot, but I don't, because I can't. Lack of conscience! Just because I clicked "yes" to "do you lie a lot" does not make me "antisocial"! Just because I clicked "yes" to "do you steal" does not make me criminal! Just because I possess pirated goods does not make me criminal either! And that last time I stole was when I was 8, and never again. Just one time, okay?

I re-read that. The first half is bollocks. Second half partly true. Like the part about being careless with money. Isn't everyone?

Narcissistic

Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by self-centeredness. Like histrionic disorder, people with this disorder seek attention and praise. They exaggerate their achievements, expecting others to recongize them as being superior. They tend to be choosy about picking friends, since they believe that not just anyone is worthy of being their friend. They tend to make good first impressions, yet have difficulty maintaining long-lasting relationships. They are generally uninterested in the feelings of others and may take advantage of them.

I only clicked 'yes' to 'has anyone ever told you you're self-centered' because my mom said that about me a few times. I don't know though, about self-centeredness. Whatever. Most of the above isn't true about me. I find the test to be very extreme-ish...like, just because you commited a little crime, you're criminal. What the hell.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010