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we are fish and we drown I went downstairs to get the mail, and in the lift, a mother was taking her toddler out along with her maid. I was barefoot and minding my own business, when I heard the mother laugh. I looked up, and saw that the kid was looking at me and reaching her hand out to me. So I smiled and said, "Hi." To my surprise, the kid came and put her hand in mine. I took it. Baby skin is soft as silk, void of experience and age. It is comfortable. I loved that kid's innocence and her lack of distrust in strangers. She looked at me with wonder, as if she was examining a new part of life. In other words, that kid liked me. Quote of the day: "There is no way to be truly great in this world. We are all impaled on the crook of conditioning. A fish that is in the water has no choice that he is. Genius would have that we swim in sand. We are fish and we drown." -- James Byron Dean. I believe James Dean has achieved immortality after his death. He is the perfect idol for the confused teenager, and I can't help it but put him on a pedestal to worship and adore. Chances are, that is what he would have wanted anyway. I know the 5-month break between Genie and I is ridiculous and crazy, but I'd talk to him about it and get his take on things. Maybe I'll see him after the prelims, which is after mid-September and before November. November is the month of the big O. A very scary thought, if you ask me, but the O Levels are typically easier than my school's paper, and hypothetically speaking, I can do well, as I am the "cream of the crop". I am in a top-ten school. Hypothetically speaking, I rate among the best students in Singapore. Realistically speaking, I can't get jack shit if I don't work for it. Forget the whole top ten school shit. It's a false sense of security, and I refuse to be blinded by it. My aim is New York, and I'm getting it, no matter what. Sorry Genie, but you're second place to my wretched studies right now. I still love you.
before sunrise // before sunset
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