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what is precious is not printed on paper
written: 6:16 p.m. on Friday, Sept. 13, 2002

Friday the 13th! My lucky day! Yep, so lucky, in fact, that the comprehension I got today was a total bloody killer. It was some bloody passage from Newsweek magazine that dates back to 1997. There is a section where you're supposed to give meanings to five words from the passage that are already pre-selected, and guess what I wrote for 'sporadic'? 'Large-scale'. Large-scale! Of course, I didn't know what it means but now I do. Well at least I did when I checked the dictionary...

Had Maths Paper two too. Better than Paper One, but even if I pass that, the overall is still an F. Ah well.

I had a dream about Iker Cas last night. It was wonderful but I remember them in fragments and they don't connect so I won't bother narrating the entire thing. But see, the part I remember well went like this: Real Madrid was in Singapore and their training ground was, of all places, my school (we have a proper track and a football field; we rock), and it wasn't made a big deal but Iker was mobbed anyway. I managed to squeeze to the front and asked for an autograph. I gave him something to write on, which he took back to write. So the next day, or something, he found me/I found him and he gave me back my thing. He knew my name, he wrote in English, and his handwriting was a mess. Forgot what he wrote. It was something really dumb about Real Madrid. His English wasn't perfect, but it wasn't atrocious either. Don't know if I mentioned this but he doesn't speak English, which really sucks for how am I supposed to talk to him when I eventually meet him? I mean, really, everyone should at least have a basic grasp of the English language because it's the most widely-used language in the world. Everyone, that is, who has access to education. Iker definitely has access to education. They should've taught him English in school!

I'm totally besotted with him and it's not my fault. Go to his fansite and look at that adorable smile. How can anyone not fall for that?

I cannot decide how serious I am so I won't bother.

Last night I tried doing one of my school's old prelim exam paper and it pissed me off because I kept getting the wrong answers. It got to a point where all I could do is to stare at the paper, will it to death and try not to cry. So at 9 o'clock I gave up and wrote 3 poems. Yep. It was the only way I could deal with the stress without being weepy over something so insignificant. I considered telling my mother what I've done, but I knew her reaction would only be, "Why you waste your time? You should study Maths!" or something startlingly to that effect.

It's sad how art is viewed as a waste of time while meaningless things like Mathematics are viewed as the key to life. For me, I'm cramming at the last minute just to pass my exams. I don't care for acquiring any knowledge as I'm not interested. Poetry and writing and film and the like are what I'm interested in. These things that I read about are going to stay with me for the rest of my life, and how can they dismiss them as a 'waste of time' when they are the only things that keep me going sometimes?

It is a common opinion in Singapore that studying in the arts stream is pretty much the end as it holds no future. I think it all depends on the individual and what he chooses to do with his achievements. It also has a lot to do with interests. I think it doesn't matter what you study; what matters is the amount of blood you put into it, the amount of interest you have for it and what you choose to do with it. I think if one makes the right choices and is not afraid to risk, well, I think we're all gonna be all right.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010