we could be so lucky
written: 9:18 p.m. on Thursday, Sept. 26, 2002

Let me back-track a little. School ended shitting late, at like, 3.06 p.m. (I have a knack for remembering things like that but forget them the next day). Sat through endless junior colleges talks. I want to go to Hwa Chong junior college. It's number one in Singapore. Which means getting in is as easy as scaling Mount Everest. But I still want to go. They have this Humanities Programme thing and they have close links with colleges in the UK like um, Cambridge and whatever else. My goal right now is to get out of Singapore and fulfil what I know I can reach. But getting into that fucking junior college is going to require real effort and I'm not sure if I can do it.

Anyway, Mom brought me shopping for a dress. To wear at graduation. Even though I said my budget was under 100 bucks, I got so sick of trying on stupid dresses that make me look fat that I settled for one that costs S$189. Ugh. But it's gorgeous, my dress. It's translucent purple with a layer of dark pink material underneath, and it has thin straps that crosses at the back. It's not too low and doesn't show my breasts, but I have this huge mole on my shoulder (which Gen says is sexy) and it can be seen. But what the hell.

Saw a few people from my school at the shopping centre. I felt weird in my uniform with my mom among the crowd. It's easier being in uniform while out with friends.

Anyway, the shoes part was hell. I didn't even want shoes. I have this black sandals that rocks and I didn't care if it went with the dress or not. I mean, like, for crying out loud, it's just one stupid night and there won't be boys anyway, so who cares? You still have the prom at junior college anyway. But Mommy insisted that I buy a pair of nice shoes to go with the gorgeous dress, so I complied. Walked around the shoes section for a good half an hour, maybe more, and my feet hurt like hell. The best part is, I couldn't find anything. The things were either too high, too ugly, made of genuine leather which I refuse to wear, or too pointy at the front. Those pointy shoes are so elf-ish and so "The Wizard of Oz". And they are in fashion. God.

So had to cross the road to the other shopping centre. Went into this shoes store and tried on this blue thing. With heels. Couldn't walk. Complained and bitched, and Salesgirl could hear as I was the only customer. Hehe. Then went to the departmental store and found a nice pair of pink-purple-whatever shoes from Elle. It also has heels but I was tired already that I just didn't care. Told me mom, "Whatever, buy and go home!" And that was it.

When I wear the shoes though I'm taller than my dad. Ha. The thing is, I can't walk in them without feeling like I may fall over. It's so silly, the things we do to look good. But I honestly would rather go bare-foot to the bloody graduation ceremony. It's comfortable and I walk better without shoes than with those terrible heel things.

I'm the type that would rather spend her day in a bookstore or a library than to spend her day buying stupid crap like dresses or shoes. I was hurrying my mom while shopping for my dress because I wanted to go to this giant bookstore there. I found Ethan Hawke's Ash Wednesday. Was surprised to find out that he writes. It's an amazing thing. The guy is an actor and he has two novels published. I don't know why, but that fact puts new-found respect in me for the guy.

And he's really hot, not forgetting.

I'm painting my nails when I go for the graduation thing. My nailpolish is pink, and I have a blue one too but that one is hard to paint with.

I don't know why I just said that. Ah well.

Visit Cain's diary. He wants readership. I know it's a bit hard to read at first because he rambles on without punctuations whatsoever, but that's his way and I'm used to it already. He emails me like that. It's an interesting read, really, if you can tolerate the swearing, which I can because I'm a saint like that.

HA!

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010