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strike two, i suppose
written: 5:10 p.m. on Tuesday, Oct. 29, 2002

Bloody practical. Harder than I'd imagined. Like, my school's was cake (because the theory part was hell) and today's one was like, urrgghhh, what the fuck is this? What the fuck am I supposed to do with the stupid marbles? Oh, I'm sorry, they're "glass spheres". How was I supposed to know what experiment I have to do to investigate the formula "potential energy divded by kinetic energy equals 1.4"? I wrote some crap about a pendulum and ran out of time. And my sini/sinr graph didn't pass through the origin. I checked my book after it ended and saw that the graph in it passed through (0,0).

I hate Physics. I'm so glad this is my last year doing it, and after this crap I'd be rid of it for good. Hell, yeah.

I want to buy a halter top. They look nice and probably really cooling and stuff. It's so hot here that I can't stand to wear T-shirts. (And besides, T-shirts make me look disgusting.) But my father would flip and haemorrhage (sp) if he sees me baring my ugly back for the entire world to see. So I'll get a new wardrobe once I'm in New York. Which is two years from now but hell, better late than never.

Actually, I don't really believe in that saying. Sometimes, it's better never than late. I was thinking about it in the loo this morning. I was thinking, it's kinda late now to cram shit into my brains for the O Levels. I mean, seriously, I have exactly a week left and tons of crap to do. It's better never, because at least you can tell yourself, if you fail, that okay, I was never cut out for this crap and I never studied anyway, so oh well. If you start late and don't manage to finish, the fire's on you because you tried and still fail, which probably means you're pretty damn stupid.

Having said that, I'm still going to apply the better late than never thing to the O Levels, because hello, we're talking about my future here. I am very keen on getting out of Singapore and going to New York.

Why New York, you ask? Because firstly, New York City is the centre of all civilisations. It has everything. Wall Street Journal is there. Actors and actresses live there. They have the Metropolitan Museum of Art. There's Central Park. Etc, etc.

Secondly, well, there isn't a secondly. Am I afraid of the high crime rate, you ask. The answer is no. The way I see it, I'd rather die while doing something I want than die while doing absolutely nothing, which is what I'd do if I continue to stay in Singapore for the rest of my life. And I won't allow myself to be inhibited by fear. I'm living a life, as shocking as it is, and I'm not dead. I have no excuse to miss out on opportunities and adventures just because I'm too afraid to take that step forward.

The very first step, of course, would be getting on a damn plane and live in it for a day, just to get to the USA.

But why am I talking about it? It won't happen until two years later, and by god I will make it happen. And I will write a novel about it, because I'm that good, thank you.

I worry about the English O Level exam. I'm afraid I'd end up writing a totally shitty essay and getting a B3, or worse, an A2. I'd die if I don't get an A1. I'm not an over-achiever, but I'm supposed to be good at this thing. You do understand, don't you?

I phrased my New York thing a lot more eloquently when talking to myself about in my head on the bus home.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010