the mind of someone gone stark raving mad and who still won't admit it
written: 3:05 p.m. on Wednesday, Oct. 30, 2002

So yeah, I just want to say that I cut my hair yesterday out of boredom. I was doing Physics, and we all know how boring that is, and I had a pen knife on my table, so I picked it up, selected a small portion of my hair, and sawed at the tip. That was fun. But the pen knife made me paranoid about damaging my hair for good so I switched to a pair of scissors. I don't hate my hair, although it's annoying how it refuses to be tied up nicely, but the cutting was addictive. Really. Once I got started, I couldn't stop, until it got really hot in my room.

I don't know why I did it. I mean, yes, I was bored, but everytime I snipped off a bit of my hair, I felt this crazy tinge of sadness that I can't explain.

Maybe I'm going crazy. It's the bloody exam stress. It's not my fault. I haven't studied at all today, and it doesn't help that I have my Social Studies paper next week. This is where I should be all frightened and stuff and start cramming really hard, but I'm so lazy, and my mates aren't going to the library today so I'm stuck at home with the damn computer, whose lure is so powerful that I can't resist.

Oh, and I forgot that the 19th was Gen and me's sixth month anniversay thingy until I read Jeff's email, who remembered, and he isn't in the relationship. Okay, I'm pre-menstrual, and when I'm pre-menstrual, I start doubting things so I won't start now as I'm not even sure if they're legitimate.

But I have to go. I have to switch on the air-con in my room and be good buddies with my textbooks until November 25. Yes. Wish me luck. Pray for me. Say a chant for me. Send ESP waves my way. Dream that I score 6 A1s. (Dreams do come true, you know.)

I want 6 A1s! Get me those six A1s for crying out loud. Self, get your arse off the stupid computer chair now. It's dark and your eyes hurt so get lost.

Yeah, I'll get lost.

I don't suppose it's healthy that I talk to myself all the time.

Um, no tangents today, I really have to study, so fuck off!

I'm switching off the computer. Yes, I am. Adios.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010