the grass is always greener on the other side
written: 12:38 p.m. on Saturday, May. 31, 2003

But I have found myself a new target anyway. Mr. Number 14 on the basketball team.

Why, you ask? Because he's really frigging cute. I've finally seen him around school these few days, sitting with a group of friends at the rooftop cafe after classes, walking past my classroom with a friend when I was having Chinese, and walking with that friend towards the Science block yesterday while I was heading for the rooftop cafe.

I don't know how to explain this. Seeing him doesn't really do as much for me as seeing Mr. Nerd used to, but that small tugging at the heartstrings is there anyway, however minute and seemingly insignificant. And, being the selfishly-motivated person that I am, it makes my life in JJC so much more interesting.

My crush on Mr. Nerd has blossomed and faded, and it lingered on still for a period of time, but since a few days ago, it has been completely snuffed out. And I'm glad, because I really can't take his coldness sometimes. How he finds smiling so damn difficult, how he seemingly can't afford to be friendlier for just a few seconds. And why should I waste my time on him? He's not worth it, nevermind that he's one of the nicest person I've ever met.

You wouldn't understand unless you've spent time with him like I did, laughed with him, joked with him, had him attempt to comfort you when your exam results disappointed you and hurt you so much, but just to have all of that taken away so suddenly by reasons you don't even understand, or know. And perhaps you could say I was misconstruing everything from the beginning, that I read too much into all those times I spent with him, but it doesn't really matter, because I really, honestly, don't care anymore.

It was fun while it lasted, but I'm moving on to greener pastures now, thank you very much.

And I certainly did not stay in JJC for him. God, what a vile and disgusting thought.

Anyway, back to my new target. I have exactly one week to make my existence known to him. And he's a cager, so striking up a conversation would be fairly easy. I could just go, "Hey, you're that number 14 guy on the basketball team, aren't you?"

JJC's having a movie marathon next Friday, from 6.30 p.m. to 9 a.m. Things would definitely be in my favour if he's going.

Life is certainly more interesting than ever.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010