sporadic bouts of insanity
written: 9:52 p.m. on Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003
I have to write this article for my CCA by tomorrow and once again, the most I've done is to open up MS Word. I am quite annoyed with myself. I could just do a shit piece and give it to the teacher to edit but I can't do that and still call myself a genius, so of course I just have to take it upon me to write something great, something awe-inspiring, something that would make the irritating teacher go, "WOW! Yelen is a genius!"
Which I am, of course. Even though I'm not.
I finished the "Catcher in the Rye" essay and everything, only to go to school today and have one of my group members tell me, "Can hand up tomorrow!"
Wah fuck man. Wah lau, I tell you, I was damn pissed lor. I really fucking was lor. I'm not kidding. I wanted to sock that fucking idiot in the bloody face okay. I rush the dumb essay like shit and he tell me can hand in tomorrow. What the hell lah...
Now that that's out of my system, let's go back to proper, correct English, shall we? Anyway, the essay is absolute crap but if I re-write it I really will kill myself so I'll just leave it be.
I had P.E. at 4.30, the time when I was supposed to have the Econs test. So I had it at 5.15. It ended at 6.40. I was so drained from running two pathetic rounds around the track that it affected my performance for the multiple-choice questions it, which, surprisingly, I could do most of. The other part, the data-response part, I entertained myself by spending about 20 minutes on the first question and leaving 40 minutes for the next four questions, and while at that, I wrote rubbish that didn't make any sense and when I realised that I was analysing the reasons for a fall in demand for HDB (Housing Development Board) flats instead of the fall in prices of HDB flats, it was too late to cancel everything and change my answer, because... well, who cares? Just because. I mean, I would've needed to think and all and I just didn't have the time. And if I crossed out my wrong answer I wouldn't even have an answer. Having a wrong answer is... Okay. I'm rambling. This is crap. It's utterly unimportant.
The crux of that entire chunk is: I'm going to fail. Sadly.
Just realised something: NO MORE P.E. FOR THE WEEK!!! WOO!
Guess whose back I saw walking by my classroom today. It was that number 14 basketballer whom I had a crush on a while ago and whom rejected me with benevolent kindness (yeah, right) when I asked for his phone number. I was talking to my classmate and looking out of the window when I saw his back. And I kinda stopped mid-sentence and just... smiled like a schoolgirl with a crush.
It was irrelevant, of course. It was also a spur-of-the-moment thing. It was very, very transient rush of blood to the head that lasted about five seconds and left without a sound, because I wasn't even aware anymore. And he... he is always the boy with the gentle smile that I never got to see, the boy whose heartfelt words I never got to hear, the boy whose hand I never got to hold.
And it's okay. Because he just inspired me to write a paragraph of eloquent nonsense.
Bwahahahaha.
Okay. I need to get a life. I did mean some of it, that nonsensical paragraph, but honestly, I was doing it more for the sake of writing something more flowery than plain, in-your-face, boring English.
To digress though, I've resolved to be nicer to people. And by 'people', I mean guys. Really. I'm not kidding. No more flipping the finger or telling people to fuck off or staring daggers at them; I'm going to be nice. I'm going to smile nicely and flash my dimples. I'm going to say nice words and... and just be nice.
I will resist the knee-jerk reaction to be mean. Simply because I can.
I'll stop typing rubbish. Need to start on the article. It's 10.15. I go to bed at 11.
Damn, can't finish it...
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010