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thoughts
written: 6:51 p.m. on Tuesday, Aug. 05, 2003

I think it's pretty amazing that this is actually my 612th entry. I didn't think I was going to last this long. And truth be told, I'd rather that I never started this piece of shit because I'm not writing as much as I used to. My older diaries, to me, are diamonds to the superficial woman... I don't know. Just really value them a lot. And this? This is just electronic crap, and if Andrew somehow fucks up, then everything is gone. It's actually quite abstract, definitely intangible, because unless you print these out, you can't touch them or feel them. And how do you know that it's there? It could all be just an illusion and nothing else.

I think I want to go back one day to the way things were... not secondary school, exactly, 'cause I'm sincerely glad that I'm done with that. I just want to write like I used to again. I can't remember the last time I wrote an original short story and it's really disturbing because it's been so long. Without writing, I'm nothing. If I can't write I have no reason to live.

I don't know. People don't really understand that. They think they do, but they really don't.

It's just that... I'm damn fucking tired right now. I genuinely fell asleep during Chinese class today, when we were supposed to do some worksheet.

And that few minutes felt like absolute paradise.

And somehow, that makes me sad.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010