where do i run from here?
written: 5:49 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 03, 2003

A while back I did this holiday homework for Chinese. I was supposed to continue some stories in some book. That was in June, I think, and today I got my crap back. 60/70 for both, and one of them was selected for some competition.

Haha. I find it really fucking hilarious. Chinese has always been my weaker language; hell, I can't even speak it properly. So yeah. I was surprised. And when The Duck read it aloud to the class all I wanted to do was to dig a hole and bury myself in it. I just hate it when people read my stuff aloud. That is one reason why I think poetry should not be recited but let's not get into that.

Had some pointless CCA meeting, so-called compulsory but less than ten non-exco members turned up. I really should've went with The New Kid instead to his secondary school. He wanted me to go for some reason or other. Oh well.

You know what's sad? I'm watching trashy shows like "Charmed" in a desperate attempt to bring some entertainment into my life. But then "Charmed" is a great show to watch if you want a good, hearty laugh. I never fail to crack up at the lousy special effects, the predictable and corny dialogue and the silly plots. The mermaid tail is still a classic. (Pilot episode of the second season with Marilyn Manson's ex-wife.)

Sometimes though, I just want to fly away and never return. Run away from all these rubbishy school crap that never seem to cease for even a second. The tests keep coming, the workload keeps increasing and promos are in a month. I don't know how to break out of my slacker mode and start studying. I know I can be promoted. I'm just not the type to be retained, and I don't care if I'm sounding arrogant but it's just not in me to be retained. I'm too smart for that.

Unfortunately, my intelligence is always, always, always failed by my lazy nature. I procrastinate, put off datelines and think, "Ah fuck it, just do tomorrow lah." Tomorrow comes, I wait till the evening to do it and when 11 o'clock rolls by, I'm all ready for bed and at the end of it all, absolutely nada is accomplished.

I'm just so bloody tired. I don't know how I'm gonna pull through and still be in one piece by the time it all ends, if only temporarily.

And I really wish I could write like Mel. Her language is so hallucinatory and metaphorical, and so witty and original. I feel generic and bland next to her.

She's truly amazing, in every sense of the word.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010