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derailed.
written: 6:05 p.m. on Tuesday, Sept. 30, 2003

Wrote the poem after a long free-form piece, and just wanted to write something really stupid. I'd type the free form here but the format would be totally fucked up and it's the format that matters so I'm not gonna do it.

Been trying to cram everything that has been taught thus far into my brains for the past few days but I don't think it's been working too well.

And I realise something. I am emotionally-handicapped. I cannot reciprocate lovey-dovey feelings, I cannot love anybody but myself and I have serious commitment problems. Whoever gets involved with me is a right unlucky, stupid, doomed bastard.

Yep. I think I need to see a psychiatrist, figure out why I can't figure out my own problems, why I believe that I'm cold and frigid inside.

And it's times like these that I wish I weren't who I am. Just so I could prevent myself from hurting other people.

This, however, is definitely not the time to immerse myself in such thoughts. I need to focus. I need at least a D in all my subjects. I need to study.

I'm having my General Paper paper this Friday morning at 8.10 a.m. I wonder why they don't schedule it at 8 a.m. like they do in secondary schools.

I cut my double-period GP classes yesterday. I figured, what the fuck is the point? I go, I don't go, I still get the same grade. I still get an A. It's not like I'm failing.

I'd skip school altogether but I need to go for Economics classes, unfortunately.

I think there's something I probably need to address but I don't feel like doing it now.

I passed my Econs test, a 65%. Wahoo.

I don't seem to feel very ecstatic about it.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010