forget useless self-help books; this is the best strategy to glittering distinctions
written: 4:21 p.m. on Wednesday, Nov. 05, 2003

So they were giving them out (only two recepients, sp, yours truly and another girl) during History lecture, which I wasn't present for as I was still on a bus somewhere in Jurong West, and I just think that it's strange and ironic and, truthfully, quite funny.

I got a Good Progress Award, I think. Whatever. The thing is, wow, was it easy to get! Let me divulge my secret, the most surefire way to win these kinda stuff. Trust me, it works. Obviously. I am living proof of the miraculous ways of my amazing strategy.

First, slack. Yes, you heard me. You spend the whole year goofing off for a particular subject, preferably something relatively dead and, well, to put it simply, duh, that doesn't require much analytical skills or whatnot, and basically, you put in great effort not to pass any tests, let alone ace any. So in other words, you take it easy, relax, think of lovely things like sex or whatever gets you off, and sit back while you rake in those pretty Fs. Once you get that done, you can move on to step two.

Step two. Treat tests and assignments as the true joke that they are. In other words, don't bother studying for tests and definitely don't bother doing your assignments properly. I'm not saying don't do completely, because that is just stupid and I don't think you want the teacher breathing down your bloody neck all the time. I'm saying, do your assignments, but do them shoddy and crap. Plagiarise lousy essays from the Net. Copy notes from your dumb classmates. Whatever it is, just make it look as if you don't know anything about the topic, when in fact, you do, but you're not bothered about it. After this is done, you can move on to part C.

Part C. The day before the exam. From 8 p.m. to 11 p.m., start cramming. Dig out past essays that you somehow got a good grade in, despite treating them lightly. Write out all the points on a piece of paper, read them over a few times, and voila, you have secured a good pass. Just like that.

I told you. It's bleeding easy. And that was exactly what I did.

Okay, so perhaps I'm a little cocky, but then again, I'm just stating the truth. Why be humble when you can be honest, right? Ha, ha, ha. Besides, humility is a bloody waste of time.

So the interview went okay. My interviewer, one of them anyway, was my classmate Precious Moon. I spent a few minutes laughing away but other than that, I just crapped a lot and said a lot of things which I didn't mean, like that bit about JJC having capable teachers... yea fucking right. Oh well. I want the CIP hours, so yeah.

Damn stressed for Chinese. I'm kinda worried. A little scared. I just want to do well.

Which is why this entry will end here and I will shut down the computer so that I can study in peace.

ARGH! KILL ME!

Disclaimer: The strategy stated above only works for people who are smart. If you're dumb, I suggest you take the tougher route and mug the entire year. Don't take risks. Not everyone can be a genius. Bwahahahaha.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010