the real honest truth
written: 11:51 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 08, 2003

Here's my opinion of the Knicks: they are the specks of dirt in between the grooves of my brother's Spalding leather basketball. They are the layer of dust that accumulates on the smoothly-rough surface of said basketball after one has used it for a certain period of time. They are the mud beneath my Asics shoes when I walk through the rectangular patch of grass in the middle of the classroom blocks in my school after a heavy rain.

In short, they suck.

My team lost to a shitty team by three points. That's one long-range shot for you, one that could've been executed by my lovely small forward, Peja Stojakovic.

Luckily this is just a regular season match. I would really haemorrhage and die if they lost to the Knicks during the play-offs.

Then again, I would cut myself and bleed to death, one drop of blood at a time, if the Knicks even make it to the play-offs. They just suck. Simple as that.

Peja scored 36 points though. That bloody genius.

Moving on now. Went to Queenstown Community Library to fake out stuff for Project Work to put in the file. We were busy writing out minutes of meeting, planning of PW work cycle (me), evaluation of information and other useless nonsense and I think I lost the second and third drafts of our written report but I could've sworn that I gave all of them to Mr. Girl already. I mean, I wouldn't keep them 'cause I know I'd lose them, since my room is perpetually looking as if it's been hit by some crazy tornado of sorts, so it can't be with me, but that's what everyone is saying.

Man, if it's really me that lost them...

I hate PW.

I think my entry box becomes a few pixels bigger than it should be when there are italicised (sp) words in the entry. I can't fix it so yeah.

For some reason or other, I really miss playing basketball. I can't fathom why; firstly, I totally suck at it; secondly, I totally hate working out; and thirdly, did I mention that I totally suck at basketball? I can't shoot properly, I can't do a lay-up and I can only last ten minutes without feeling like I could die at any moment.

Still, I really want to play. I can't explain it... but when you try really hard, a few times, and it pays off in the form of that strangely beautiful 'swish' of ball against net when your shots are perfect, when the basketball licks nothing but net... well, I think 'euphoria' is a great word to sum it up.

Hmm. Now I wish that I were at least talented in basketball, so that I can get more kick out of it. Oh well. You can't have it all, I guess.

I miss writing too. It's been a while since I was last able to write a convincing piece of prose. I love writing Slam Dunk fanfiction but those just don't do me any good. The last short story I wrote was my exam piece during the English O Level... oh wait, correction. It was that second-person narrated piece of crap written under the inspiration of my dear Mr. Nerd.

This fic is my favourite of all-time, at least among those that I've written anyway. I can read it again and again and I won't ever get sick of it. It's a RuMit, for one, and I love anything that concerns Mitsui and/or Rukawa.

But more importantly, at the risk of sounding arrogant (yeah, like I really care), I think I wrote some parts really well. Unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to emulate that in any way, shape or form.

My style has become so technical. Sure, it garners me an easy A for GP but who cares about General Pointlessness? I haven't been able to hone my craft for a really long time... and it's really bugging me.

I need to read more. I need to write more. And I need inspiration.

Strange that I should say that last bit. I'm always feeling so alienated. Why can't I write anything based on that?

I think I have been duped by people who think they know what they're talking about into believing that I'm talented.

I'm nothing but a fraud.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010