inspiration and muse
written: 2:53 p.m. on Tuesday, Dec. 02, 2003

I have this sort of sleep ritual/tradition that has been ingrained in me ever since I was 12. I fake dramas in my head every night, involving the current famous guy I have my sights on. It used to be Nick Carter since the 12-year-old me was in love with him (silly girl), but now it's the guy in the picture of the layout, Jielun to me, Jay Chou to the rest of the world.

So I was thinking and coming up with all sorts of saccharine romantic lines, when my mind started drifting away from the plot -- which I will never reveal -- at hand and I began thinking about him. Time magazine once ran a story cover on him, and in one of their captions, it said, "Will show business change him?"

In my mind he was strumming a guitar in an empty hotel room, limboing between sell-out concerts, dreaming up melodies in his head and scratching them on pristine-white, virginal score sheets. I pictured him without his dyed blond hair, and the guitar seemed to be an effortless part of his entire being.

And there I had it. The essence of Zhou Jielun, and the premise for my comeback story.

That is, assuming I finish writing the thing. Kind of ran out of words halfway through, as always.

But if you take away the fame, the clothes, the blond in his hair, the endorsement deals, even the recording contract, all you'll be left with is just an ordinary guy who's calling in life is to make extraordinary music.

There's nothing awfully special or particularly different about Zhou Jielun. He's not outstanding, and if he passes you on the streets, you won't even look twice at him. His face is common, generic, not very handsome...

But when he sings the melodies that he composes, the tunes that he dreamt in his head, all the tiny minute details simply fade into oblivion.

His music defines him.

And that is what I'm going to write about. A famous singer struggling to strike the balance between commercialism and artistic integrity. It's not a fanfic, I don't think, though I'm extremely tempted to make him my protagonist but I'm not very fond of writing fiction about real people, but it is going to be based very much on him. It's also gonna be a bilingual thing, except that I'm just borrowing his lyrics, is all, and not actually writing any of the Chinese stuff myself.

Why am I sharing this with you? I don't know. Just felt like it, I guess.

I hope I don't burn out halfway though. I never really had the stamina required to finish a complete story.

Oh well.

Anyway, I woke up at 12.40 this afternoon, just in time for lunch. Ten hours of sleep, interrupted sleep but sleep nevertheless, and I still feel like I've been hit by a truck.

Oh, how I need a life.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010