a bit of ev'rything
written: 5:10 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 11, 2004

To top it all up, my printer cheerfully decides to run out of ink mid-print and now I'm left with all odd-numbered pages of some shit that I wrote with only half of page 2 alive among all even-numbered pages.

I'm pissed off. I hate technology. I hate my stupid printer. But it was a damn freebie so what did I expect?

I never got round to writing about Day Two of orientation camp and it's been too long and so the details are fuzzy in my mind and besides I'm lazy so I shan't bother anymore. Suffice to say, however, that I totally amazed myself by still being able to jump around and go crazy despite apparently believing that I'd reached my limit. You see, there was physical training in the morning -- early in the morning at the ungodly hour of 6-something a.m. when all should be asleep as a general rule that keeps humanity sane -- and because I am beyond unfit, running two rounds around the track basically sapped all energy out of me, and due to that, I was left feeling fuck-enervated throughout the entire day. To top it off, I just had to volunteer for basketball for the Sports Carnival even though 1) I can't play and 2) I know it would kill me and I would die. But for some reason my family didn't have a girls' team and we can't give up that easily, right?

On the plus side, forming a "team" with three other Year Ones enabled me to get to know them better. It also helped that one of them was from my group. We lost though, unfortunately. Played two games; almost won the first game. The girl from my group was... she was scoring lay-ups left and right and I was just left feeling very inferior and useless as I still can't do a lay-up but yeah, she was damn good. Unsurprisingly, she was on the basketball team in secondary school, which should explain quite a bit.

The second game we were completely thrashed, six to zero. Oh well. I didn't want to play, but this other girl insisted that she didn't want to so I had no choice but, um, to play. Yeah. Of course, I wanted to win, but a part of me didn't really give a fuck about the outcome as I realised that it wasn't the point at all. What mattered was that one had fun, and fun was had, so it was all good.

So basketball killed me and I was even more worn out, and I slept in the hall while waiting around for the Year Ones to finish whatever it was that they were finishing up. I was sitting on the floor with my back against the stage, hugging Mel's sleeping bag and resting my face on it, and I fell asleep, just like that. I was tired beyond belief. And dinner was crappy, as I had to walk from the study benches to the netball court back and forth, back and forth, getting food for the Year Ones (it was a barbeque) and that tired me out even more, so when it was eight and time for campfire in the hall, I seriously thought I would fall asleep if Family Two did not wrap up their long and insipidly redundant skit anytime soon.

I don't know how I did it, for my feet were sore and numb and they hurt like crazy and all I wanted was my bed and bolster and of course the air-con so that I can sleep and not wake up for a few days, but after a while, I got all crazy again. When the mass dances started I was on this crazy adrenaline rush; was jumping around all over the place, and when I saw Triaz I ran to him and HUGGED him. I never do that. Like I said, it was the adrenaline, and it blocked out everything else.

Crazy shit, really. Despite the crappy sleeping conditions, shitty food and the flu that I'm suffering now, it was a great experience nonetheless, and I shall leave it at that as waxing lyrical about things like this is just soooo not me.

So that's orientation.

Friday was crappy. A lot of work to do. Didn't understand what went on in a lot of classes. And I spent two hours writing two paragraphs of my Lit essay this afternoon. It's badly-written but I don't care no more; no time to revise and fine tune it, and frankly, I haven't got the drive anymore.

I really don't want to go to school tomorrow. Would like to escape from my reality for one more day and pretend nothing is wrong, but why delude myself, right? Maths test this Saturday on power series and some other shit, a.k.a. two topics which I don't even know as I either cut the lectures or didn't pay attention, as usual, so in short, I'm screwed.

Story of my life.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010