negativity.
written: 6:34 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 27, 2004
It's not that I'm censoring myself on purpose. I just don't want this to be evidence against me, in case some school authoritarian figure chances upon this and sees all the stuff I wrote about the school previously. But no, I'm not editing all that stuff, mainly because it would take too long and I'm bloody lazy, but also because I don't have those feelings written elsewhere and so they need to be preserved. I would lock this diary up, but I'm a sucker for hits and things like that and the whole purpose of an online diary, in my opinion, is to let people read it, so locking this up would completely defeat that purpose, and thus I'll just leave this as it is.
Someone close to me is getting into unnecessary trouble, and I don't know what to do. I wanted to ask the person's teacher to do something to dilute the shit the person is in a little, but I couldn't think of any reasonable request. And it's at times like these that I truly find it increasingly difficult to tolerate my anal-retentive, overreacting, philistine and petty school. I won't go into details, for that isn't really the point, and besides, I'm sick as hell of this whole retarded fiasco. Suffice to say, however, that some things are simply not meant to be blown up to the extent to which they usually are. It's sickening.
I was feeling quite shitty yesterday and so I cut PE, which was the last two periods, a.k.a a total and complete waste of time. I didn't even bother getting an early leave form as that would've taken time and I didn't want to stay in school any longer than I had to. Am I worried of the repercussions? No. Punishment is six rounds around the track; been there, done that, over and over, you cannot scare me.
I've been skipping classes the entire week. I think I'm in trouble here. Not with the school authorities for I couldn't care any less, but with myself. I didn't even skip lessons so much last year. I think if I keep up with this unhealthy trend any longer, I'm going to be so used to it that lecturers would cease to remember my face...
...then again, the sycophantic Maths lecturer doesn't even know me. I walked past him today on my way to History class and he didn't bat even an eyelid.
All the better. I fucking hate his guts. He's a fucking dog, the principal's favourite pet. He makes me sick. His hypocrisy is totally acrid and disgusting. He's so fake and the word 'sycophant' sums him up perfectly.
But I shan't waste my time writing about such a low-life, so let's move on.
To what, I haven't exactly got a clue. Okay, how 'bout this: I'm hungry. That's a start, isn't it? I'm hungry and I'm hungry only when it's absolutely necessary. Nope, don't like food too much, which is why turning pesco-vegetarian wasn't too much of a chore. People obsess over food like it's the most important thing in the world or something. They spent hundreds of dollars on "delicacies", to which I have only one reply: If you don't want the dough, donate it to me, for fuck's sake. I can spend it on things much more worthwhile.
Seriously, what the hell is the big deal? You shove food into your mouth, you chew, you swallow, your intestines digest it, and ultimately, essentially, it passes out of your anus in the form of shit/excretion/crap/whatever, and essentially, that's what you spent your hundreds of dollars on: shit. How bloody stupid is that? I'm all for having good food and all, and I won't hesitate spending about fifty bucks on food that will make me happy, but hundred over dollars is just bloody ludicrous.
No, I have nothing better to say, which is why I'm ranting about food. What the fuck. My existence is fading into obscurity with a pace faster than before. This is scary. And I'm just rambling. Incoherence at its finest.
Not that I particularly give a shit.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010