the metamorphosis of yelen
written: 5:26 p.m. on Friday, Mar. 19, 2004

Yes, I hate Econs. I am so ditching my crazy idea of majoring in Econs and Lit.

To crankitup: I'm too lazy to log into my mail account and email you so I'm typing my response here. Wait, let me recall what was it I wanted to say... Oh yeah. I didn't explicitly state what made the GP tutor The Asshole due to reasons unknown to even myself, but this entry should clear up some doubts.

Okay. I spent S$99.80 on a skirt and a top from Zara today. They are both pink and I paid using Nets, which means my poor bank account is missing a hundred bucks today. Ouch. I am abstaining from shopping for six months and no one can stop me.

I've been thinking about it lately and I seriously do think that I may need an income that can support my lifestyle in the future. I enjoy shopping as a sport and I love buying things like books that I read three years later or never at all, pretty underwear, gorgeous clothes, you know, the awesome things that make life all the more worthwhile. And I've been feeling the uncomfortable brunt of my economic non-situation lately, especially at Zara where the clothes are great and costly and I am just a poor junior college girl, unemployed, with well-off but non-Rockeller parents, and so all I can do is to look wistfully at all the clothes I wish I could buy but can't.

How many times have I repeated mentally to myself that I really need some bloody money has eluded me. I've lost count. And it's not just about clothes. Stepping into Borders and Kinokuniya has the same effect on me too. Seriously, why are books so expensive? I thought it is in every civilised society's interest to encourage reading so as to boost the population's intelligence, which would lead to an increased productivity level, which would then lead to an increase in induced investment, and the larger picture of higher national income or whatever would somehow be realised, but going by some economic law or other, or just plain common sense, incredibly-high prices like twenty-five bucks for a paperback would deter the average consumer from buying the book, unless he were some crazy biblioholic but how many people are impulsive book-buyers?

Whoa. That was an extremely long sentence. But you get my point, no?

Okay, I read that sentence over and I had no idea what I was talking about. So, in simpler terms: high price => cheapskates like myself not buying book => decline in population's intellect => lower price of books, but no, that is not happening because stupid corporations are all out to make money and they don't give a toss at all about the crucial fact that Literature is not about making money, so they should stop publishing books of literary quality and leave it to independent publishers instead.

Oh whatever. What was my original point? Oh yes, my wanting a high income. Yes, back to that. Money is great 'cause it gets me stuff but selling out is another thing altogether. Many people know that I am pretty much anti-commercialism and not very fond of high-levelled consumerism (ironically and perhaps hypocritically) but I can't help myself from wanting to buy things for myself all the time. And I actually want a car, and a specific one at that (a Volkswagen Beetle). This has never happened to me before. I was always going off about how I would never learn to drive and hence never buy a car but I want a fucking Volkswagen Beetle, godfreakingdammit, and who's to do anything about that?

I think the day would finally come when I would wake up in the morning, drag myself into the toilet and when I look into the mirror, I wouldn't recognise the person in there at all.

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010