meeting with a star, but not quite
written: 6:48 p.m. on Monday, May. 03, 2004

Friday. A strange day. Economics test drained me of all my energy, and I screwed up the MCQ. Something, probably nothing, occurred in the canteen that brought back feelings I thought were long forgotten. All is not well in the state of Yelen's mind. I don't know. I'm not saying any more about this, except that I'm hoping it was just a one-time thing and that it will go away for good, forever, never to come back.

Saturday. Caught two films at the Singapore International Film Festival. One was Japanese film called "Bright Future" which befuddled me, but I did think that the lead actor was awfully gorgeous. The other one I liked a lot more. A Taiwanese minimalistic film, directed by Lee Kang-Sheng, "The Missing".

The plot of the film is not important. And this entry is far from the way I was hoping it will turn out.

Okay, I am going to stop meandering around and just get to the crux of it all.

A little background on the director: He's the protege of this other critically-acclaimed Taiwanese arthouse film director Tsai Ming-liang. He has acted in all of Tsai's films and "The Missing" is his directorial debut. Apparently the two of them are quite well-known in the industry in which they work.

But anyway, I bought a book on "The Missing" and the closing film, Tsai's "Goodbye Dragon-Inn" which stars Lee Kang-sheng. I was intrigued by Lee's film, but was too far away and mousy to ask him stuff during the Q&N after the film, so I bought the book.

There was an autograph session. I stayed behind for it, after I watched Bright Future, which was after "The Missing". I've been wanting to watch a few films in a row for quite sometime but never had the chance. After Saturday though, I don't think I wanna do it anymore. I was drained, physically and even a little emotionally, after "Bright Future". Grogginess was me, light-headedness was me, the works, and trust me, seeing Lee Kang-sheng up close did nothing to snap me out of it.

Simply put, the man is charismatically handsome. When they finally arrived after like twenty minutes, by which I was getting bloody impatient because I hate waiting for people, nevermind that they were people more important than me, I didn't notice until Lee Kang-Sheng walked past me, and as he did I looked up, at him, and he glanced briefly at me and that moment, that feeling that spread all over me, until now, I still haven't the words to describe them.

It was awe, perhaps. You could even say that I was star-struck. It was like a rapid blood-rush to the head, and for a few seconds or so I was warm all over.

But I thought he was amazing. His film blew my mind, and when he speaks, he blows my mind too. Tsai Ming-liang hogged the attention because he is the veteran and shit but I was mainly interested in Lee Kang-Sheng.

When he signed his name on my book in elegant calligraphy, it was all that I could do to keep myself from declaring my love for him.

Okay, gross exaggeration over there, but the heartbeat did increase. I wanted to ask him things about his film, in particular its location as I thought it looked a little bit like my old home, but I couldn't say anything when I stood in front of him. All I said to him were a meek 'thank you' when he looked up at me (ah those eyes!) and handed me back my book.

If only I were older, if only I were more confident, if only I were more sophisticated.

But I'm not. And hence, that's all there is to it.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010