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the problem.
written: 7:19 p.m. on Wednesday, Jun. 02, 2004

If I were to be completely honest, I would have to say that I have no idea where I'm heading, what I'm doing, what's wrong with me.

I am uninspiring, uninspired. If I were to use a stupid pop culture analogy, I am Chris Columbus when I want to be Alfonso Cuaron. I am Stephen King when I secretly want to be Michael Cunningham.

Do you get the idea? I tried writing something last night, after being inspried by a brilliant short story by Joyce Carol Oates, but it was a complete disaster.

A few people and things which I think are culpable:

1. The education system in which I'm stuck;

2. My secondary school English teachers for making me believe in a lie;

3. Singapore for being its boring boring boring self; and

4. Myself, for being the untalented, boring me.

What does it matter? But it does. I am lost. I am at the losing/loosing end.

And I don't know how to end this nicely so I'll stop here.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010