i am verbose.
written: 6:02 p.m. on Monday, Jun. 07, 2004

To crankitup: The truth is, I like Singlish. I did an AQ on Singlish (some GP shit) last Saturday and I was praising Singlish. Singlish makes me feel less false, more Asian, less ang moh, more real. But I have many many many bones to pick with people who speak nothing but Singlish. My argument is, let's be a bit more moderate here and not so extreme. I don't speak in perfect English and I don't expect people to, but there should be a certain level of proficiency, even more so for written English. That's all.

*****

Today I did a Literature test. Practical criticism. Cue my usual excuses I had a headache I was hungry I wasn't in the mood my heart was nowhere near it I was sleepy I slept at 12 midnight and got up at 7.30 a.m. to attend a mind-numbing Maths lecture and hence I was dead Cue the required "I just failed the test" and: "What a waste of time" and what a waste of time, energy and electricity, typing all of that out, talking about an insignificantly stupid test.

*****

Yesterday was the 60th anniversary of D-Day. The landing of the Allied forces at Normandy, France. Watched a Discovery Channel documentary on the day, watched the live coverage of the commemoration of D-Day in Normandy on CNN.

It was...

Where do I even begin?

*****

On Saturday, I went to town in hopes of catching Charlie Kaufman's "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind".

Went all the way to Orchard, Lido, Isetan, whatever, queued for no less than fifteen minutes, got to the counter, and...

The bloody movie was bloody sold-out.

(Oh, I'm sorry, let me correct that: The blinking movie was blinking sold-out.)

(That was a kind of inside joke so if you didn't get it, don't bother.)

So I was like, "What the fuck?" and Mel was like, "What the fuck?" and this guy we were with, Mel's friend, Michael, was like, "Guys, relax, it's just a show."

Insert the anime face-fault here.

This is rather interesting because Mel kinda arranged this for Michael to meet me. And that's interesting because... well, I don't know.

Let's try to attempt to get my thoughts out of my head into cyberspace in a coherent and understandable manner, shall we?

First of all, I kinda went along with it because, yeah, why not? I have practically zero social life so it's good that someone's helping me in my always-futile attempts to expand my social circle (that is, under the ceteris paribus condition that I care all the time).

But the thing is, what the heck was his intention? I wouldn't have a problem with it if I weren't me, but it just so happens that I am, after all, Miss Yelen the Cynical, Asexual, Anti-Romantic and Emotionally-Retarded.

On the flip side, it was a good thing that he's nice and fun. I had a nice time and it was my first time walking into Mango with a guy behind me (well, technically, behind Mel, since she was behind me but yeah).

The down side is, he reminded me of my very first boyfriend and that is a period of time which I would like to permanently erase from history, thank you very much. I want to have Eternal Sunshine in my Spotless Mind too...

Right, so that was lame, but I couldn't help it. The title - the line from a poem - is just so so so beautiful. I could never have thought of it.

But I digress. Michael looks a little bit like the ex but fortunately for my sanity, he is a lot more intelligent, a lot better at English and a lot taller.

Still, I doubt anything's gonna come out of it. What's the point anyway. It'd be nice to have the dude as a friend though.

And besides, I still like another person, enough to make me not give a shit about other people and it matters not who this person is.

I'm not hanging on to any false hopes or whatever here. I'm a total realist now... well, maybe not 'total' but a huge one. I know my situation: there is no hope. And I don't want any.

Then what the hell is it that I want, you ask?

As the cliched answer always goes: I don't blinking know.

*****

Yes Mel I will blinking stop it with the blinking thing.

*****

I was happy yesterday. I went shopping with me mom, went to Esprit (Raffles City) to take advantage of the sale but it turned out that I didn't even notice the clothes on sale and bought three non-sale tops.

But I was damn happy with my purchase. Clothes are great. And today I bought another article of clothing from Esprit, the one at Jurong Point, a tank top. I've always wanted a tank top, ever since the one tank top I own got too small for my huge body.

One thing I should always try to do: Stop spending money needlessly.

One thing I will always fail to do: Stop spending money needlessly.

What does the above add up to then?

I need a job.

And I didn't manage to find any Tsai Ming-liang in this video rental store at Tanglin Shopping Centre that is known for its collection of arthouse films.

And that was my only real, tangible hope.

What did I say about needing a job? I need a fucking credit card as well. Sigh.

Life is woe without the dough.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010