no title again.
written: 6:46 p.m. on Sunday, Jul. 25, 2004

I totally hazed through the whole thing. Had no idea what the hell I was doing. It's a wonder I got to the last question at all, but then again, half the time I was copying my teacher's solutions.

Oh well. On the bright side, I managed to complete my revision timetable. That, at least, gives me an illusion of control and we all know that that is precisely what I need right now.

I wasted my entire day yesterday on meaningless shit which I did not care for in the slightest bit. In the morning I was at my CCA's investiture. Yeah, just take over my post and skip the pomp, okay? Thank you.

After that I attended College Day, simply because Mr. Nerd was there to receive something for "Oustanding Academic Performance for JC2". Sadly, he had to split immediately after the excruciatingly boring and agitating ceremony, so I didn't get to talk to him.

I did, however, talk to somebody else. Okay, to be more exact, I exchanged about three sentences with him but hey, I hardly see him on Saturdays so that was swell.

New short-term ambition: To deliver the valediction for next year's College Day.

New long-term ambition: To be the chairman of the Monetary Authority of Singapore, a.k.a Singapore's central bank. (I have a thing for exchange rates; I don't really know why.) The general consensus (as in, among all the voices in my head, each representing a different side of me) with me right now is this: Fuck Lit, fuck Passion, get rich. Whoopee.

Great. There's gonna be a three-hour prac crit marathon tomorrow. Just fucking kill me. It would be tolerable if it weren't the Bulldog who's conducting it but it just so happens that I. Cannot. Tolerate. Her, so I'm just gonna die.

I think it is rather intriguing how, for the first time in my life, I really, really want good grades, crave good grades, and care enough to want to work for it.

And I'm going to keep this in mind, in case I go crazy, during the next few months: The 'A' Levels is but a small bump in a person's life. It's a painful bump, but ultimately, it's worth it.

Sounds corny but that's because I suck at paraphrasing. I'm really glad I talked to him about my academic flounderings and sufferings because whenever I think back to the things that he told me, it doesn't seem that bleak or impossible anymore. He said, over and over, that "You can do it", "You will follow [the timetable] through" and I believe him. I believe everything that he says.

This is where I'm supposed to feel like a schoolgirl with a crush... which is precisely what I am. Ha.

Promise to self: If I stick to my plan for this week, I'm gonna treat myself to Starbucks. It's been too long since I last had Starbucks.

The "delayed incentives" thing was his idea too.

Time for dinner.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010