a long entry.
written: 1:30 p.m. on Tuesday, Aug. 10, 2004
I watched Singapore Idol which was shown after the parade, and I have to say that it was a lot funnier than the American Idol auditions. One guy came close to emulating William Hung: the Lemon Tree Dude.
I feel sorry for Fool's Garden for they have a lot of songs that are better and more thought-provoking than a song about some stupid tree that produces sour, inedible fruits, and even worse, the Lemon Tree Dude could not even sing two words without going out of tune. Poor Fool's Garden! The Peter guy (the lead singer who has an impossible last name because I don't remember even its first letter) would probably weep if he saw that. The Lemon Tree Dude epitomises the phrase "nerdy ah beng". Never thought it possible? Well, it happened last night.
And after he was finally done butchering an already-shitty song and randomly waving his hands about like he was drowning or something he told the judges, "When I did it in front of my friends, they all laugh (sic) at me."
Another comment: "I thought that I was going to be the Singapore William Hung." This was said in response to the judges' comment that it was an "incredible" performance. The word "incredible" here means, obviously, not credible, but the Nerdy Ah Beng was too beng to bloody know it.
Oh man, I was laughing so hard that I thought I would have an asthma attack. It was great. I felt really sorry for the Shanghai dude though, especially since he's cute. Did you see those eyes? And that hair? Too bad he can't dress.
Anyway, the above paragraphs were merely my way of leading up to this crucial point: Dick Lee is bloody drop-dead gorgeous and I am in love with him. I'm going to watch the stupid show just to see him. I loved the way he said, "You do have something. It's called 'mediocrity'."
It also helps that he reminds me of this other person with whom I'm completely in love, so seeing Dick Lee is like seeing that other person which is always good, of course.
It's hard to believe that he's in his forties because he sure does not look the part.
Douglas O or whatever the hell his name is is an ugly fart though. He's totally fugly. Singapore's sex symbol? Fuck me! Only if the nation were blind!
Just a small comment on the adverts for some True Courage episode featuring this woman who got into some fight and was grotesquely disfigured: Do not call people 'uncommon beauty' if you really mean 'ugly freak'. Screw the euphemisms. Let's be honest here. She's an ugly freak. That's a fact. Why do we try so hard to cover up the facts? Why do we want to lie? What's the difference between a subtle lie and one's misguided attempt to be "politically correct" anyway?
I am tired of false courtesies and stiff propriety and society's digusting political correctness. Just get a life and spare me the shit.
I've also been feeling nasty the past few days. It's entirely possible that another goddamn metamorphosis is taking place again. This must be the third or fourth this year. Joy.
I think I should go to school 7 days a week because without school I kind of lose the drive to study, hence this entry, hence the online games I've been playing the past couple of days.
Shit, why can't I just bloody focus and focus hard? I can't wait for school tomorrow.
Caught Zhang Yimou's Shi Mian Mai Fu (House of Flying Daggers) yesterday morning.
Yeah. It's a 7/10. The story was preposterously absurd, particularly towards the end, and I still maintain that the last fifteen to twenty minutes or so were completely redundant. But I already knew that the story was dumb when I pestered my mom to watch it with me despite the bad reviews.
The point of the film was not the story. The point of the film was the cinematography, the acting (well, with the exception of Andy Lau), the direction, and most important of them all, its tribute to the Chinese culture. Such beautiful sets, wonderful costumes! And the required bamboo forest fight was breath-taking.
Some silly amateur critics seem to be under the sad illusion that Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was the only wuxia film ever made. Fuck you. Since when was CTHD the benchmark for wuxia films? Yes, it won an Oscar, but who cares about the goddamn Oscars? If another ang moh compares post-CTHD wuxia films to CTHD again I think I will seriously go out and break some windows. All they know of Chinese cinema is Wo Hu Cang Long. Why? Because it won an Oscar.
This really pisses me off. Know your stuff before you say stupid things. CTHD is hardly an original wuxia, precisely because so many others came before it. Ang Lee only did it a lot more beautifully. That's it. And I do not believe for a second that Zhang Yimou's Hero and Shi Mian Mai Fu cannot match CTHD in terms of aesthetical appeal, because I thought that Shi Mian Mai Fu was one of the prettiest films I've ever seen, and Hero was a lot deeper than CTHD. I do agree that CTHD had a better plot, but who the hell watches wuxia for the storylines? Only guileless ang mohs who have avant-garde pretensions who think they're so worldly and well-read.
Okay, that wasn't very fair, but I do mean it. My culture is not an export. Just because you've seen one good Chinese wuxia film as a result of it being Academically-Recognised doesn't mean that you've seen it all, and hence, it doesn't mean that you're some "foreign film expert" with the right to say stupid things like "Shi Mian Mai Fu is nowhere as good as Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".
Of course it's not. But is that the point? No. I love wuxia and it's impossible to have too many wuxia films so I think Zhang Yimou should continue with his wuxia trend thing so that I can watch more pretty wuxia films with good acting and nicely-choreographed fight scenes.
Oh, and one last thing: I hate most, if not all, English translations of Chinese film titles.
I mean, seriously: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon? Were the translators aware of how absolutely preposterous that sounds? Wo Hu Cang Long, on the other hand, carries so much more meaning. Same goes for Shi Mian Mai Fu. Besides House of Flying Daggers (also sounds stupid), the other English title is Lovers.
LOVERS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! What the hell has being ambushed from all sides got to do with 'Lovers'?! I understand that it's essentially a love story but the original title of the film has got fuck-all to do with that! Shi Mian Mai Fu (being ambushed from all sides, in a horribly-rough translation) very nicely encapsulates the entire film, and there were a few scenes in the film in which the phrase was practically personified. It's an apt title; "Lovers" is not, and "House of Flying Daggers" is only slightly better.
The worst of them all is the English title for Jay Chou's new album. I know it's not a film title but whatever lah.
Okay, so Qi Li Xiang is a flower. I don't know what the hell it's called in English; in fact, I've never heard of the flower prior to the release of his first single of the same name. The thing is, the official English title, printed in bright, neon orange in the CD in-lay, is "Common Jasmin (sic) Orange".
I have a few qualms with this. Firstly, it's GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT. Since when was "jasmine" spelled without the 'e'? And what the hell is a 'jasmin (sic) orange'? Did you mean orange jasmine?
Secondly, why does Jielun need an official English title if he's such a hot-blooded Chinese? 20% of his songs talk about the opulence of the Chinese culture and the pride he takes in being Chinese and they contain overtly Chinese elements, so why the fuck cheapen that by using a stupid and incorrect English title? Blame the record company! Sony Music sucks! Why do you do such stupid things? More alarmingly, why do you do such stupid things and don't even bother to bloody spellcheck?
And why use the dull word 'common' when his album is anything but? God, you stupid morons at Sony Music, if you don't know what a word might connote, don't bloody use it! I think I would prefer a direct translation, "Seven Mile Fragrance". At least it bloody sounds better!
Why can't we leave it at Qi Li Xiang or Wo Hu Cang Long or Shi Mian Mai Fu? I really don't get it.
More than an hour has passed since I first started on this entry and I have to finish reading my market structure notes so I'm going to wrap this up.
Before I end: Eh, Singapore 39 liao leh. Kewl sia. Yah lor. Er. Happi birfdae worz~!
No, seriously, Singapore is fine, for the most part. So here's to more years of sound economic progress, sky-high GDP per capita, more FTAs, yadayadayada, and of course, an arthouse cinema! I want my arthouse cinema or else I'm migrating!
Right.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010