uh yeah okay.
written: 6:13 p.m. on Tuesday, Sept. 21, 2004

Right, so there's absolutely nothing to read online and that is another source of irritation for me but we shan't go into that right now.

Question: "How was [the maths paper]?"

Answer: "It went just as I expected it to."

In other words: I am so going to fail.

And I mean it. I couldn't do exactly 44% of the paper, and the remaining 56%? Yeah, once again, I'm sure that half of it is wrong so I'd end up with... what the hell is 56 divided by 2? Well, you get the idea, I'm sure.

Statistics: What the hell? How can I possibly have got a 0.0-something for 'find the greatest number of people to blah blah blah whatever the hell it was'? And why was that Normal Distribution question absolutely insurmountable and nonsensical? I don't even know what the heck a 'population parameter' is; just my luck that I was forced to choose that question.

Oh, and I cheerfully forgot the exact substitution for a-square minus x-square. Do you know how damn pissed off I am about that? And to think that the correct substitution (x=asint) was floating around in my mind but I actually thought it was what I was supposed to get for dx.

Like, what the hell. I could've got that 6 bloody marks. It was a shit-easy integration question, if only I had properly rememebered the stupid substitution.

Argh. I hate myself. And now I feel queasy because I had too much caffeine and sugar. Great.

Kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me right this moment.

I hate maths. It should die.

Something extremely farcical transpired moments before the start of the paper. So after the writing papers and the question paper were given out, the invigilator, my civics tutor whose speech sometimes borders on being absolutely querulous, was all ready to start the paper early 'so that we can end early!'

I'm all for putting an end to my perilous doom as soon as possible, so I was also eagerly anticipating the start of the paper, but obviously, something was amiss, for I did not have my all-important, absolutely imperative formula list with me.

Neither, in fact, did anyone else have it.

So someone brought it up to the invigilators, and guess what? They didn't have it either.

So okay, one of them, this nice man, went out to get it, and about 3 minutes later, this teacher whom I assume teaches Maths came in, glanced at the table, saw that we indeed did not have the formula list, and went out again.

At this point it was all I could do not to burst out laughing. And that urge took even more to suppress when the male invigilator came back empty-handed and went, "There's no more formula list left. They're getting from the hall."

So yeah, I suppose it would've been really great if all the formula lists were out and everyone got a 100% by default, but the point is, it just really, really goes to show how hopeless my bloody school is. I mean, the MF 11 bullshit is like, quintessential to any Mathematics examination, and my civics tutor actually said, "Do you really have to have the formula list? Would you like to start without it?"

Yeah, and waste my exam time waiting for it to arrive so that I can refer to it. Right. Makes a lot of sense.

My stomach is killing me. Tomorrow I would remember not to drink coffee at 4-something p.m. when I had lunch at 12.30.

So anyway tomorrow's Lit Paper 4. My favourite Lit paper out of the 3. Initially I was rather excited about doing the exam, even looking forward to it and everything as I couldn't wait to use the awesome quotes that I found, but now that it's getting closer and closer, I don't really feel like doing it anymore.

Reason? I'm not bloody prepared enough. Out of the five quotes I found I can only remember one of them. How difficult is it to remember quotes anyway?

Apparently, very fucking difficult, going by how I'm not remembering them at all. And I'm sorry (even though I'm not) but Thomas More's "Utopia" is fucking boring. What was wrong with 15th century people? If you want to share your profound idea of a perfect society with the rest of the world, it's the least you can do to dramatise it. Reading a treatise based on the real world is already potentially boring; imagine reading a treatise based on a world that does not remotely exist, and is sometimes preposterous, even.

"Utopia" completely smacks of moral elitisim, moral snobbery. I'm sorry but it really gets on my nerves. It annoys me even more that I have to memorise things from it. And it wasn't even originally English. I don't know why an Englishman chose to write in Latin, but there you go.

Oh, and "Utopia" is so bloody Christian-ish as well. Ugh. Kill me.

I generally do not have a problem with Christianity (it still amuses me to no ends that I'm in love with a devout Christian but there you go) but it does seem a little double standards-ish when they can come up to me and preach their religion to me in my face and expect me not to take offence, but when I even try to get the words "there is no god" out of my mouth, it seems like they expect an apology immediately after that. What should I apologise for, having an opinion of my own? Believing deeply in something, just like they believe deeply in their god?

But I'm not in a mood to talk religion right now so I won't.

I suddenly feel like talking about Steven Spielberg and his new shit movie The Terminal. Okay, so I haven't watched it and I definitely do not intend to as I absolutely refuse to, but I know a bad movie when I see one.

Whoever thinks that The Terminal breaks new grounds or sheds tremendous psychological insights into the meaning of life obviously don't know the difference between 'popcorn blockbuster shit' and 'movie with substance'. The very notion that they can turn a real-life story as intriguing as that of that Iranian man whose name I have forgotten into a crap love story is clue enough that the movie is shit.

And Steven Spielberg is one director whom I believe is bloody overrated. He's fluff. He's the silver screen equivalent of "chick lit" writers, or even Dan Brown (whom I'm not very impressed with either). There's nothing more to his movies than pure entertainment, and okay, entertainment is good but B-grade flicks are entertaining, so are silly Hong Kong gongfu shit with lousy special effects. But then again, so what? I can entertain myself by peeling off my nailpolish, or even watching absolutely nothing happen across the street.

My point is, I really don't think much of movies and directors that strictly cater to the masses. When a movie is made to be marketed to the general populace, you know that the movie is definitely going to suck through and through. The Terminal completely embodies that rule.

And besides, Catherine Zeta-Jones annoys the living shit out of me. Tom Hanks is okay, but that accent is preposterous.

I do, however, want to watch "Dodgeball". One can never go wrong with the Ben Stiller/Vince Vaughn combination, and I think Vince Vaughn is funny. Like, funnier than Ben Stiller. He's more understated in his humour, not outright slapstick like Stiller, and I like the whole minimalist, deadpan... humour that he has going on.

Shit, now I so want to go out and catch a show. Great. What an apt time to be thinking about that right now.

Time for dinner.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010