i can't do titles.
written: 6:45 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 16, 2004

I wanted to finish the revision tests given by the Maths teachers in the afternoon but after three hours, I only managed to complete 7 questions.

I am so amazingly completely screwed.

I don't know if this is going to make any sense, but I'm actually afraid. Not just of the A Levels (that goes without question), but of everything that's coming after it. It doesn't matter how much I hate JJC; I don't really want to leave anymore, because I'm not willing to let go. It's too early, it's too soon, I'm barely ready to unlock the cage and finally spread my wings. Call me masochistic if you must, though I really don't care, but I won't mind being caged in the education system for a little bit more, just so it means that I'd be able to stave off the immediate future that doesn't look very bright from where I'm standing.

Usually, I adapt to change pretty well. I was damn glad to get out of St. Nicks because I really hated it. It should be the same this time round, but it's not. This time round, it's final. This is it. There's no turning back anymore, and no, I'm not ambivalent enough to surgically turn back time by deliberately getting F's for my A Levels just so I could retain; that's just bloody stupid. You'd think that I'd be glad to finally get out of JJC since I complain about it so damn much, but ironically, the thought of leaving for good induces a small but significant amount of fear in me.

Yeah, I told you this won't make sense. Okay, going to have dinner first. Yay, Mos Burger! The best thing ever!

So anyway, I don't really have much to say. That's pretty obvious, I know. Life's been... onerous. Very tedious. Horrendously scary. I don't think anything else can scare me to this magnitude ever again.

God, I so need a pep talk the day before the GP paper or I'd totally go in there and panic and die. I really wish I didn't have to do this.

So yeah read this stupid letter in yesterday's Life!, written by some fuck who accused Wong Kar Wai of being pretentious without any substantial supporting arguments. I'm not surprised at all that people would find him pretentious, but please, for the sake of my sanity, have something more to say beyond 'the actors are not young anymore and so they're not pretty' and 'Only Tony Leung and Zhang Ziyi are good; the rest are just in it for the fame' and 'Wong Kar Wai took five years to finish his film' and 'such arty-farty films are designed specially for Western film fest crowds' blah blah blah. And the funniest thing was that this Chan Ying personality admitted that 2046 is a good film.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. People are bloody stupid, it's completely hilarious. The best bit was the 'the actors are not pretty' part. Like, what the fuck has that got to do with anything?

And in this week's issue of Time magazine some presumptuous and stupid ang moh asshole from the UK wrote in and said that moderate Muslims got their moderation (so to speak) from contacts with the Western world, and that Muslim countries don't teach religious toleration. I'm badly paraphrasing the gist of the stupid letter but the point is the same anyway so who cares.

That is the most stupid thing I've ever come across for quite some time now. It's utterly preposterous and inane, and it completely reeks of Western chauvinism. It's precisely people like that fuckhole from the UK that is injecting life into terrorism networks. First of all, religious fundamentalism and intolerance applies to every single damn religion in the world, and your precious Christianity and other Western religions are obviously not exempt, if you bother to look up historical events that prove my point. So how can you conceivably suggest that the Western world is free from intolerance? It's obviously not. Second of all, since when was the Western world the bringer of peace? The last I checked, Japan was the only Asian country involved in the First World War, one of the stupidest and most ridiculous wars in the history of mankind, and the Second World War was essentially ignited by the West. The USA invaded Vietnam even though they had no business to, and let's look at Iraq: They've exchanged Saddamn Hussein for suicide bombers. Yes, what a great job done; what the fuck is the fucking difference? Same fucking difference, I say.

Whoever is stupid enough to think that the East would be plunged into a state of chaos without the West should do the world a favour and shoot himself in the head right now. Fuck off and die. That fuckhole from the UK is basically suggesting that Muslims without contact with Western influences are all fundamental terrorists who hate the West, even though they've never come into contact with them before. Makes a lot of sense, right?

Seriously, think about it. Half of the 911 hijackers had some form of education or other in the States, and I just read an article in Time magazine a few weeks back about some guy who shares the same sentiments as Osama and Gang who happens to hold a British passport. What the fuck basis does that stupid retard have for making such wild and unfair conjectures? I'm not even remotely Muslim and I feel insulted.

Such people should just kill themselves. Just go and die, okay? The world doesn't need to push itself closer to complete obliteration and extinction by people like that stupid asshole from the UK.

At times like these, I can almost see things from Osama and Gang's perspective. Honestly, I think the USA should wake up and smell the shit. Stop thinking that you're the shit just because you happen to rule the world right now. 911 was only tragic because it happened to the USA. I certainly don't think that a dead American is any more lamentable than a dead Indonesian/Egyptian/Iraqi/etc. Why should we commerate 911 but not October 12 and god knows what other days in history during which the trusty terrorists decided to strike and be a further pain in everyone's asses?

Okay, my brother came in and started disturbing me and hence I lost my train of thought. I thought of ranting about the effects of globalisation on culture and how Singapore is culturally-barren and how people like me don't really belong anywhere and we're just deracinated hobos drifting from one culture to another but I don't feel like going into it right now.

Just so I can get this off my chest: Old Boy is Korean. It is not Thai. I can't believe I insisted that it's Thai even though it's Korean. I rebuked someone who was right. How stupid is that? Why did the advertisers have to spell the director's name in the ang moh way? I mean, doesn't Chanwook Park (or something along those lines) look Thai to anyone else? Or is it just me?

I embarrassed myself twice in a day, and the second time, I didn't even realise it after a couple of days later. How stupid is that?

I doubt anyone would know what I'm talking about but it's okay. It's not important anyway.

My stomach is all bloated and fat-feeling. I love Mos Burger's iced milk tea; it's the best thing ever.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010