my poor, broken heart.
written: 7:21 p.m. on Monday, Dec. 20, 2004

Forget the previous entry.

My heart has been completely shattered into bits and pieces. I just found out that my beloved Mr. Julian Patrick Barnes, born 1946 in Leicester, is married.

There goes my dreams of marrying him. Life is so unfair. Why are all the good men taken? Again, I repeat: Life is SOOOOOOO unfair.

Uh, I kinda just wanted to say that.

But seriously, he's my favourite writer now; he's completely supplanted J.D. Salinger and even Jim Carroll (I seem to have a thing for people with 'J' names; it's a coincidence and nothing more). I've read like four of his books, which is the most books by the same author that I've ever read, and I just got started on "A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters". Barely into the second page and I felt like falling on my knees and kowtow-ing to the genius that is Julian Barnes.

He's amazing. I love his intelligence, his wry sarcasm, his wit, his subtle and clever humour. I also love how he manages to successfully balance satire with a poignant portrait of a woman discontented with "the thinness of life", and how he's created a character that I completely identify with. I mean, writers don't come any better than him lah, okay?

Have I ever mentioned that he's amazing? I'd love to meet him.

Well, duh; I'd love to meet all the people I admire, the physically dead but metaphorically still alive James Dean included. But can you imagine how absolutely stupid I'd feel when conversing with Julian Barnes? Normally I hate to be made to feel stupid, but I'd gladly subject myself to it if it means that I'd get to talk to him.

Right. I'm writing part b of my Taipei entry tonight, after dinner. And I'm going to apply for a job at Borders tomorrow. Hopefully, having something to do would take away some of the emptiness and disillusionment. It's hard to live with it; even harder when it's exacerberated (sp) by having shit-all to do but sit in front of the computer and write stupid things.

Okay, I think I'm having Mos for dinner. Wahoo!

I can't wait to continue writing about Taipei. And after that, it's Jielun. Wahoo again!

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