stab me. hard.
written: 10:20 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 04, 2005

I hope to hell that the doggy job comes through.

Right, shopped at Zara (Great World City) with Mel today. I blew almost half of my January allowance on a skirt and two tops. Before that, my mom bought a nice blue top for me at Marks and Spencer.

So, I'm a bleeding spendthrift and that sucks. A lot. Especially when I don't even have a job. I think I've just finished my Chinese New Year shopping...yeah right. Come on Yelen, you'd be wearing your new clothes the next time you go out, and before long, you'd be itching to buy new clothes again. I mean, how can you POSSIBLY wear clothes that have been worn before on Chinese New Year, right?

Ugh. Dammit. Tres frustrating, indeed. But I can't wait for Chinese New Year! Finally, I get money by sitting on my arse and doing nothing! Wahoo!

This entry feels like a sham. I don't know. I don't think it's very well-written; in fact, I don't think it's well-written, period. It's irritating. There's something on my mind but I don't want to talk about it here; it matters too much to me for me to transform it into a piece of meat for hungry voyeurs out there who're itching for some drama to greedily devour and digest.

Well, it's not drama, but. Not quite the point. But somebody needs to take a huge piece of concrete and hit me over the back of my head with it, so that I'd wake up for good.

When he said that he could see my illusions about him fading away? Well, conjurers would have it that I trip over a block in the road that does not remotely exist, and that I pull him down with me, too. It was a facade that I believed in for that moment, and when I left him, I began to feel it slipping away from me, inch by inch, and before I knew it, I'd lost it.

Just because you're not my type doesn't mean that I can find it in myself to stop liking you. What can I say? You're still amazing to me, and you'd always be. ʵ����ʵ˵���� �һ��Ǻ�ϲ����. Rationality doesn't apply anymore, and my cynicism isn't enough to pull me away from the brink. I wish it were though. I wish I could cease to be so fucking stupid...but I can't.

Okay. No more. This is it. I'm tired.

this entry requires chinese simplified encoding

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010