whoa.
written: 5:20 p.m. on Friday, Mar. 04, 2005

I'm a little bit disappointed (and so is my mom) but I kind of expected this anyway.

I think I should stop being negative though, but it's kind of hard when it's ingrained so deeply into you and all.

Right, fuck this. I got As in Econs, Lit and History and a C in Math (as predicted). Contrary to what I said an entry or so back though, I got an A1 in GP.

Cambridge's standard must've fallen dramatically; that exam essay was the worst I've ever written in my 2 years of JC. I mean, I spent about five minutes freaking out and I also screwed up Paper 2 and...I don't know.

I was so scared that my legs were literally shaking when I was walking up the stairs to the hall, such that I had to stop outside the door to calm myself down before I went in and attempted to look for my civics group (turned out that I had to walk all the way back to where I was from since I got my directions all mixed up, due to the nerves and all). And you know what? I ����-ed in front of everyone. It was so mega embarrassing! Mrs. Razal came up to me and told me my results and I just started bawling my eyes out. It was like...I don't know what it was like either.

I'm sorry for the incoherence but I'm kind of heady right now. The adrenaline is over, the bitching about the C in Math is also over, and now I'm just at a loss of what to do next. I haven't figured out what I want to do yet and the whole scholarships thing is quite a pain in the ass.

Oh, I don't know.

I positively dawdled my way to school though. At 2.30 p.m. I was still at home, lounged on the sofa, watching MTV. My mom drove me to school (too damn hot for public transport today) and we stopped by POSB (where I deposited my cheque) and Coffee Bean (where I was pissed beyond words waiting for seven damn minutes before my order was taken and the guy didn't apologise to me but apologised to the ang moh behind) before going down to Jurong Junior.

Jurong Junior still looks exactly the same. They had some Year 1 students collecting donation for the building of an extension block or whatever but I kinda glanced at them, wondered out loud, 'What is this?', got no response, and brushed past them. Ha.

The day that I give my money to Jurong Junior is the day that I fucking die, thank you very much.

This entry is going nowhere. I need to take out my eyes (Jude Law's character said that in 'Closer') anyway, so this is it for now.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010