aftermath.
written: 9:40 p.m. on Saturday, Mar. 05, 2005

I'm currently super confused about my next step. The only thing that I'm sure of is that I have to get into NUS' Scholars' Programme if I'm really stuck here for the next four years.

Law or FASS? NUS or Cambridge? Fuck, I doubt I'd be able to get into Cambridge anyway, since there're so many people with 4As and two distinctions in S papers; what's the big deal about my measley 3As then? Also, let's not forget that applications closed about ten trillion years ago.

Sigh. Sometimes I do wish that I didn't have to decide, that I could have everything planned out for me by other people. I'm afraid of making the wrong choice, of going into something that I may not excel in.

God, how the hell am I supposed to reconcile my two biggest loves in life, namely money and Literature? This is insane. Those two are practically mutually exclusive; it's a known fact that going into Lit...doesn't exactly promise a very fulfilling rice bowl, and the fact that this is Singapore further exacerbates that common knowledge. At the same time, as much as I love money and want to be rich, I can't do without Literature either. In fact, I doubt I'd still be alive today if it weren't for the amazing writings of some of the most amazing and talented people to ever walk the face of the earth because of the solace their works have provided for me.

(My English is a bit wonky right now; no excuse to give, except that I'm stupid, so.)

Great. My phone just hung on me while I was attempting to save a number. Shit. I hope it doesn't die on me yet; it's too soon to die anyway, considering I only got it in November last year. Too short a lifespan, really. Or whatever.

Anyway. I had dinner at Tianjing Restaurant (at Bras Basah complex) today with my family. It was nice. I love hot and sour soup (suan la tang)! Brilliant brilliant brilliant. But hell, the chilli they put in the soup was so hot that I almost died drinking it, to the extent that I was tearing! And shit, I wear contact lenses!

I've been writing quite a few Slam Dunk fics lately, but sad to say, I'm extremely dissatisfied with the writing. I don't know, I seem to have completely forgotten how to write narratives. It really feels like constipation now and I hate it but what's to be done about that?

Oh joy, I'm starting work at StarHub on Tuesday. I haven't even started work and already I can't wait for it to end. And guess what? The film festival is in April. APRIL! Hell, I have to work in April! I'd probably miss a lot of good films due to my StarHub commitment, and if I quit, I'd have to pay them back the training money given to me on my first four days or something. What shit! And I have to give two weeks' notice.

Argh!

I do hope that I'd be able to watch some good Taiwanese films though. I just can't get enough of Taiwanese stuff - namely, Taiwanese stuff about Taipei. Haha! The furthest south I've gone from Taipei is probably Taichung...yeah, I've never been to Southern Taiwan before and I don't really intend to, 'cause I'd be running into lots of people who speak Mandarin like Chen Shui-bian over there. Like, ew.

Kinmen is nice though, in a way. I'd probably be applying for the Kinmen hui guan (I don't know what it's called in English; association?) scholarship. My mom told me that they have those things. It's probably not a lot of money but whatever, if I can get people to pay me to study...why the hell not?

My brother's nagging at me to play MSN Games so this shall end here for today. Uh...yeah, that's about it.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010