the truth about me.
written: 6:27 p.m. on Tuesday, May. 03, 2005
This film made me think. It's hard to believe it sometimes but Hollywood is capable of making movies that are not utter trash. Requisite political-thriller suspense aside, there was this amazing, profound truth in the film that seriously made me think.
Since we all know that I can't write coherently, I'll just do this in the only way I know how.
When we talk about the political it isn't really the political, is it? It's the social, it's what affects us, it's humanity. When a people live under oppression and a charismatic leader comes along and overthrows the despot he's a hero, but when the charismatic leader with all his promises and convictions finally attains power, that power turns on him, corrupts him, and thus he turns on his people and life is worse than before. You see this happening throughout History: Lenin's Russia, Mao Zedong's China, even Fidel Castro's Cuba? We call this Politics but that's because we're not involved. We are safe in our little comfort zone; we're not taking up arms and trying to topple the dictator that's making our lives a living hell; and thus politics seems like it's removed from humanity.
The truth is, it's not. It's silly to see the world from three distinct viewpoints, namely the political, economic and social, because everything is inter-related, everything is relevant and everything matters. And when you're living in a perpetual warzone, politics is your life, whether you like it or not.
So what does one do in the light of such a revelation? Does one rejoice in the fact that one does not have to suffer through the devastating effects of genocide that is taking place in African countries? Does one feel lucky to be living in a 'politically stable' country such as Singapore? Or does one think about one's situation and consider whether one is really better off?
What do you want, really? I know that things could be much worse for me, but things could be better as well. It's hard not to complain when you don't agree with the politics of your own country, even worse when making changes or stopping changes that you don't like is not an option.
At times like these, you wonder how things could be different today if history had not played out the way it eventually did. What would China be like if Kuomintang had won the civil war? I was on the MRT on my way home and this one thought made me sadder than all the other things that were running through my head. I can't explain it, really; it's got a lot to do with my deep hatred with communism and my Chinese chauvinism inclinations, and yet at the same time, it seemed totally different as well.
But I think the crux of the matter is this: You don't choose your fate; sometimes you can change it; but most of the time, you're simply stuck where you are, in a place where it sometimes gets too hot to think, where the government thinks that its people is not mature enough to decide for themselves whether or not they're comfortable with watching a homosexual film and thus resorts to censorship (even under an R21 rating) or banning, where you have to go overseas to watch a film in your own dialect, where Freedom of Speech is mere lip service and nothing more, where it's so small and congested that it's so, so claustrophobic, such that it seems impossible to breathe.
But lucky me, right? I'm not in Sudan, et al, where people have to fight to survive, etc.
It's a question of perspective. And from my perspective, I don't think I'm that much luckier because I am dying inside, bit by insidious bit, every single day.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010