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remedy
written: 11:15 p.m. on Sunday, May. 22, 2005

I have recently rediscovered J. Englishman and I can't get over how awesome his songs are, how sexy that raspy voice of his is (especially on Abused, but more about that later), and most importantly, how I can't fucking find his CD anywhere. I seriously have to have it or else I will die so I'm gonna get HMV to order it for me.

And about Abused: This song is enough to give any straight, hormonal girl an orgasm. It's so amazingly sexy with rather questionable, vaguely SM (haha I almost wrote 'SDSM' - stupid Jurong Junior!) lyrics - which is precisely the point, if you ask me. A sample: "I don't care if you come just as long as you're on top."

I'm probably crazy but yes, strangely, I love how erotic that song is and how his voice goes perfectly with it. Wahoo, and all.

Had two family gatherings in a row, one last night at a Hokkien restaurant and one tonight at my aunt's place. I was bored tonight. They had The Return of the King Extended on but I don't like watching movies that I can't finish watching in one sitting so I kinda tuned it out. Besides, my contacts had been giving me some problems for the past few days and so I couldn't focus due to the blurry vision. Dammit. I so wish I were 21 now so that I can get Lasik done.

I still don't exactly know what the Law thing means but one thing I know: I'm not going for orientation! I am too old for camps if you want my honest opinion and I've already sworn last year that the Orientation camp was my last camp and I intend to keep my word.

On a more serious note, as glad as I am that I got in, there is still a part of me that's wondering if I'm doing the right thing. I want this, I need this, but there's something else that I want and I hate having to choose. Still, no matter which path I embark on I'm going to have some regrets anyway, so I figure that it's better for me to regret and be rich (or at least, not poor) than to regret and be broke at the same time.

Oh, and there's that whole "I'm scared shitless" thing, and it's not only about the fact that I'd have exactly one friend in Law; it's about how this is really the beginning of an end, and it's an end that I didn't exactly ask for. I miss how things were, and how you could delay making decisions and say that you still have some years left over because you did, but not anymore. This is it and that genuinely scares the living shit out of me.

It's funny how time flies, as cliche as that sounds. It feels like it were just yesterday that it was January and I didn't have to go to school.

Maybe I will take up that relief thing in Jurong Junior, if the teacher still wants me to do it, just to relive everything one last time before it's all over for good.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010