yeah-ness.
written: 6:07 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 07, 2005

a. Good music - Radiohead ("Prove Yourself", "Black Star", "The Bends", "My Iron Lung", "High and Dry"), Nirvana ("Heart-Shaped Box", "Rape Me", "On A Plain", "Lithium"), The Dandy Warhols ("We Used to be Friends", "Sleep", "I Love You", "Godless", "Cool Scene", "Bohemian Like You"), "Someday We'll Know", Jay Chou (every single song he's ever recorded and sung, most of the songs that he's written for other less-talented singers), the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata and its aching melancholy, Romantic piano works, Maurice Ravel's Pavane pour une infante defunte and its hauntingly beautiful calm (that slightly reminds me of death and suicide), et. al.;

b. Good literature - Julian Barnes Julian Barnes Julian Barnes (Flaubert's Parrot, A History of the World in Ten and a Half Chapters, Staring at the Sun, England England, The Porcupine, The Lemon Table, and all of his other novels that I've yet to read but will get my hands on by hook or by crook), Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club and its amazing thesis on the scarcity of human warmth in today's coldly calculative world and how it makes me feel less alone), Michael Cunningham (The Hours), Joyce Carol Oates, Jim Carroll, e.e. cummings, Seamus Heaney, above everyone else Julian Patrick Barnes because I love his thought-provoking prose, the clarity of his language, the thoughtful way in which he uses words, his in-depth understanding of the human condition, the way he's so darn clever and yet so unpretentious, the occasional bursts of dry, subversive humour in his works that make me laugh harder than anything else, the way reading him makes me feel like I have something to live for and that there is a point to life after all, the fact that he almost became a lawyer which makes me feel comforted, the way he is so underrated, I want to buy all of his books and devour them one by one. I'm a Barnesian fangirl and fucking proud;

c. Good films - Wong Kar Wai (Chungking Express and the simple love story that lies at the heart of the film and the vivid, sensual, eloquent way in which it is filmed, I can't put into words adequately how much I love this film), Kim Ki-duk (3-Iron and the way actions spoke so much louder than words, literally), David Lynch's Mulholland Dr., Before Sunrise/Before Sunset, Asian arthouse films and the escapism I need that they provide, James Dean and Rebel Without A Cause for he will always be my rebellious, non-conformist hero, non-blockbuster films, so many titles that I can't presently recall;

d. Good friends that are always there to pick you up when you're down, mentioning names is not necessary for I am sure they know who they are, words cannot adequately express how much they mean to me, how much I depend on them to not lose my sanity, how much I love them and always will;

e. Family. Enough said; and

f. Yourself. Binomial distribution: You either win or you lose. You either do it or you don't. You either swim to safety or you drown. So what's it gonna be? I think the choice is pretty obvious.

**

Today was spent with a terrible dull ache in the head. Couldn't get out of bed without wanting to fall back asleep the second after I opened my eyes, when I got to school I managed to pay attention in Contract for about five minutes after which I proceeded to zonk out, I was falling asleep in the Pro Bono committee thingy which I went for without knowing that it was a committee thingy and I don't think I have any desire to join the committe, and an hour ago I was trying to read Carswell and some crap on citation and it was so pedantically stuffy and boring that nothing registered at all, and I'm supposed to do this Citation quiz and I have no idea how to go about doing it. Wa. Hoo.

I like the Dean; I think he's awesome. He gives a lot of strange examples during Contract lectures and he makes the subject a lot less tedious for me. I still don't understand most of what's going on, which means I should probably start reading the textbook and casebook (but the casebook fucking sucks because I don't understand 2 out of 4 cases that I try to read) and prepare for tutorials but gah, Contract sucks. I'm better with Torts and I find it a million times more intriguing than Contract. I don't think Corporate Law is the right path for me. Anyway, back to the Dean. It was his last lecture with us today! Oh my god why don't people tell me things like that? Sigh. I'll miss his hilariously corny examples and the way he keeps asking people to put up their hands when he asks a yes or no question (I'm one of those annoying people who refuse to respond, ha ha ha, mostly because 99% of the time I don't know where to stand because I don't know what he's asking, ha ha ha).

I had fish baked rice at Swensen's for lunch today and I love my mom.

I am very tired.

I'm tempted to sue M1 and/or Singtel for causing me repeated nervous shock and for breaching their duty of care to me, M1's bloody freakin' loyal cus-freakin'-tomer for 2 freakin' years and freakin' counting, because of many undelivered SMSes that were purportedly sent to me by a few individuals. I was wondering why Clarence wasn't answering my SMS last night when I switched on my phone this morning and received something from him that went along the lines of, "Hey did you get my message?"

HELL NO I DID NOT! Should I blame M1 (my phone) or Singtel (his)? And this has happened many times before, too. I had friends who messaged me things I never received and then went on to think that I was ignoring them. I don't do things like that! Generally I reply to all SMSes, no matter how banal the message and no matter how I much I just want to go, "Fuck lah who can be bothered replying to this shitty dribble" and then proceed to deleting it. Technology is so annoying. I was so right when I mentioned briefly in one entry that SMS makes a mockery of human communication, the way responses are truncated by default when you try to squeeze so many things into a 160-character text message, the way messages don't reach the other person, things like that. We're better off without SMS. Seriously, I've never felt so much disdain towards it - it makes people lazy, gives people too easy a way out of a promised date with friends/girlfriends/boyfriends/an unwanted date, undermines communication.

Having said that, I've come too far with SMS now; living without it would take quite a major adjustment time period. Sigh. The woes of modern life; how painfully, pathetically tragic, the way nobody really cares, so just stop whining and reeking of hypocrisy. Bleah.

It's September and my consciousness is still stuck in August. Reading blogs of Year 2 JJC students about the prelims brings back so many memories of how I dealt with it. I think, this same time last year, I was already in full-fledged freak-out mode that only got worse as the real exams approached. It seemed like the hardest thing I'd ever have to go through; in retrospect, it was a mere gravel on the trite path that supposedly signifies my life. This Law school thing is a lot worse, a lot more onerous, I wish that all I have to deal with in these four years is one huge exam at the end of everything, and I know it'd only get tougher when you get out of Law school and into the working world.

Oh, major joy and happiness. I, like, so, like, totally, like, cannot, like, fucking, like, wait, like.

I'd just like to complain about one thing: Presentations. Group presentations. Why do tutors assign presentations? I hate doing group work, I hate doing presentations, I hate doing group presentations. Maybe I'm too individualistic but I can't work with people. Maybe I'm too arrogant but the reason for the preceding sentence is because half the time I think I'm right and everyone else is wrong. We do group presentations for Torts and Contract and it's a bit annoying, forcing myself to find time to look up the other people and like, combine answers or whatever (assuming I've already done the questions which is usually not the case). We should just go in and hold a Socratic discussion on the tutorial questions.

Whatever a Socratic discussion is.

I'm not making sense. This is another failed entry. I should stop exposing my incompetence in such obvious blatancy.

Um, I'm really not making sense.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010