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help me.
written: 6:35 p.m. on Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005

I just got home from a three-hour studying session with Ruishan at Sixth Avenue's Tea Party and I'm so drained and lost and confused and tired and worn out and burnt out that all I wanna do for the rest of the week is to hide under my blanket with the air-con turned on at 18 degrees Celsius and hide from the world.

I CAN'T DO THIS I REALLY CAN'T I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M DOING IN LAW OR WHAT I'M DOING WITH MY LIFE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MEDICAL NEGLIGENCE AND I REALLY HATE RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE'S NOTES BUT IT'S TOO DAMN LATE FOR ME TO READ ALL THE CASES NOW AND FUCK REALLY I JUST WANNA DIE.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow for the stupid Torts test. And it feels surreal, still, the very notion of taking a test. When was the last time I sat for a test/exam/same difference really? Like, November last year? That feels like million lifetimes ago.

Also, today's SLS lecture was the most stressful lecture ever. The professor finally called on the first row and as he went down the row I began to get more and more flustered, and hence when he asked me a question I randomly read out a highlighted sentence from my Word document and hoped that it was a relevant answer, but of course it wasn't.

It fucking sucked, it did. I didn't even know what the hell I was saying. Sigh.

I don't feel like myself at all. I think the phrase 'identity crisis' has never been more applicable.

I'm having a horrible week and I can't wait for it to be over. Just, leave, don't ever come back, thank you very much.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010