watch it all fall down.
written: 9:17 p.m. on Wednesday, Sept. 28, 2005

6 Things I Want To Do:

1). Work in Taipei as a salesgirl
2). Drive a four-seater convertible
3). Write a good novel
4). Attend Lunarin gigs with Khai
5). Play basketball with Mel
6). Go to Timbre with Ruishan

6 Things I Can Do:

1). Procrastinate
2). Look decent in one of the two pairs of jeans that I own
3). Scribble down desperately whatever comes to mind during a test for which I have not studied, or conjure up the stupidest rule applications ever and hope like mad that they're relevant
4). Predict with startling accuracy what kind of grades I'd get for tests and assignments
5). Freak out under immense pressure by not giving a damn
6). Remember blog URLs

6 Things I Can�t Do (at least at the moment):

1). Cook, because I took Music Elective in secondary school and hence was not exposed to Home Economics. I'm not sure if I'm serious about my excuse
2). Study - I just can't
3). Mix with people - again, I just can't
4). Exercise - too lazy, unmotivated, would rather sit on my arse and moan about how fat I am
5). Drive - too lazy and too expensive. Mostly too lazy though
6). Attract members of the opposite sex - what can I say, I'm absolutely fugly

6 Things That Makes (sic) Me Attractive To The Opposite Sex. (Note: I'm just typing shit here):

1). I don't know
2). I have nice legs
3). It'd be so much easier for me to do the reverse
4). Because I'd have so many things to say that six points won't barely suffice
5). And guys don't like me; the only people who tell me I'm attractive are my female friends and my parents and relatives
6). So I still maintain that guys are fucking useless, thank you very much. All they're good for are their wallets.

6 Things I Say All The Time:

1). Oh my god
2). (Before a Torts test/LAWR assignment deadline) I'm so fucking dead/I'm going to die/I'm dead/I'm decomposing/I haven't studied/got started on my assignment I'm dead
3). I LOOK FAT/I AM FAT/I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT
4). I love my cow! <3
5). Guys are fucking useless
6). Shit

6 Celebrity Crushes:

1). Edison Chen - he, is, so, totally, hot.
2). Julian Barnes - the mind maketh a man
3). Jason Chang who played Jun in Formula 17 - OH MY GOD LIKE HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A MAN WITH FAIRER SKIN??!?!?!?!
4). Kate Winslet - Sometimes, I want to be her
5). Jay Chou - he's like, my husband?
6). Logan Echolls/Jason Dohring - to be honest I don't care for the actor, just the character, because Logan is so complicated and that in itself is worth it

6 people I�m tagging:

1). Rui
2). Mel
3). Zann
4). Yen
5). Tingren
6). The world at large (i.e., I don't give a damn)

**

Well, that took quite a while. I really should get started on that Contract essay considering it's due tomorrow at noon and that I don't know anything so I should at least read my cases, but.

Today's Torts test was horrendous because I realised how run-of-the-mill my answer was and that's about as good as it gets. I don't like being average but I can't reasonably expect anything more, considering the minuscule amount of effort I put into my work and I wish I could change, but. I didn't study medical negligence and what do you know, the last paragraph of the hypothetical was all on medical negligence. I remember Ruishan talking about some case in which the plaintiff's name was Sidaway (how to spell) but that case wasn't in my mugger notes and I didn't bring my casebook and I never read that case anyway so I made up some holding and hoped that I didn't get it wrong (I said that the court held that the doctor had a duty to inform the patient of the 1 in 14000 risk of the operation fucking up). Then after making up that rule I went on to write shit about Bolam and Bolitho, only because those two cases were in my mugger notes. Despite what I said about Sidaway and how the doctor had a duty to inform I eventually concluded that the doctor in the hypothetical would not be found negligent because her judgement call was supported by 9 out of 20 other medical practitioners.

See? I'm screwed. I don't even know if I was supposed to assess whether the doctor was negligent by not telling the patient of the 1 in 5000 risk of the operation going wrong and yet I wrote that the issue was whether the doctor was negligent even though the hypo stated explicitly that the procedure was carried out smoothly; I only wrote down the phrase 'medical negligence' 'cause that was about all I knew. Which is fucking pathetic. And I totally screwed up the duty of care section of Jason v. Paula. My first reaction was to say that Paula owes Jason a duty to take care and I started writing without even thinking about it. And 3/4 way through my answer I realised, you can't really establish a proximate enough relationship between Paula and Jason; besides, it's not exactly reasonably foreseeable that stupid Paula, being the dumb bimbo she is, would freak out while landing her stupid plane, crash into some bloody windsock, run into a cafeteria and smash into Jason's table. I mean, if you apply Bolton v. Stone you can say that there's no duty to take care because the probability of something like that happening is quite minuscule.

But then again on what do you base your assessment of the probability of something like that occurring? It only sounds far-fetched to me because it's a fictitious hypothetical and the scenario...is rather out there, isn't it? In fact after reading the first paragraph I started laughing, as did Ruishan who was next to me. In any case, I did begin writing out the alternative analysis (and I'm using that word very loosely here) but after re-writing the rules in Caparo v. Dickman I decided that I really had no idea what the fuck it was I wanted to say and so I crossed it out and stuck with my 'P owes J a duty to take care' answer. And me, being this genius that I am, actually thought that 'sufficient proximity between the parties' refers to physical proximity and so I said something about distance and shit like that until I read the muggers again and realised it didn't make sense.

In fact none of it made sense. I was even ready to apply secondary victim nervous shock rules to Linda until I paused and thought about it and realised with some nervous shock - and I mean literally nervous shock because the test was nerve-wrecking and I was shocked that I didn't think it through properly - that she bloody qualified as a bloody primary victim.

Can you imagine the foul and rancid kind of shit I'd be in right now if I hadn't realised that? And to be honest I only applied primary victim rules because it was easier to support than secondary victim rules.

Considering I screwed up three sections out of six, I'm so gonna get a C- for this. I mean, this is someone who applied Caparo when she tried to establish duty of care between the doctor and Jason. Did I even need to establish DOC between the doctor and Jason? Isn't it a given that there is DOC between a doctor and a patient by default?!?!

I so wish I were doing Lit instead. My answer reeked of mediocrity and Siming the Mugger of LAWR TG# was saying that he had a lot to write and that he couldn't finish writing out everything in time. And I was like, "Um. I finished exactly on time; earlier actually, if you don't count my correcting a grammar mistake."

Speaking of grammar, MY ENGLISH WAS SO DAMN BAD THAT IT WAS HUMILIATING. I kept using 'also' and I hate that, and I started my breach of duty discussions with 'the next issue to consider is...' like ten trillion times. And I wasn't even actively thinking about my grammar and what tense to use and so I'm damn sure that it was completely inconsistent and wrong. And yes I know it's only a small matter but IT'S NOT A SMALL MATTER TO ME. Grammar is not a small matter and will never be a small matter to anal retentive, pedantic and uptight grammar Nazis and I profess to be one.

This is so utterly depressing. And it gets worse for there's still Contract essay and I hate Contract and I didn't know what happened in lecture today.

Speaking of Contract lecture the LT was half empty this morning. That's quite funny.

Moving on now.

**

A quote from Khai: "Life is a glitch and then you die."

How true, how true, so much more profound than the typical and cliche "Life's a bitch and then you die".

**

I was hungry this afternoon and I didn't feel like eating instant noodles and my mom wasn't home so I decided to fry some eggs.

I think the next time I decide to do something like that someone should usher me off to the Institute of Mental Health immediately.

First of all, I poured too much soy sauce in my beat-up eggs and so I proceeded to add another one, making it a three-egg pseudo-omelet.

Second of all, I poured too much oil into the frying pan and my liquid egg was drowning in the sea of oil.

Third of all, I switched off the gas thrice halfway through the frying process, the first time to attempt to pour away excess oil (which failed horribly as some of the egg flowed out along with the oil), the second to flip the egg, and the third because the pan was spewing oil and I was afraid and damn scared of being scalded.

The result? The pan was marred with burnt egg that stuck obdurately onto its surface, my pseudo-omelet sucked, the oil almost killed me and I couldn't taste the cheese.

That's it. I'd never attempt to cook ever again. In the future I'd date a chef.

**

I took a nap after eating my disgusting egg and I had a weird dream in which some weird-looking guy has a crush on me and he kisses me on a bus and all I do is sit there, shell-shocked, not knowing whether to be flattered or repulsed.

Completely unrelated, but as a testament to how spoilt I am: I only mastered the art of using a can opener this year afer my mom got fed up with me always asking her to open cans of condensed milk for me for my tea. Ha, ha, ha, I find that hilarious but I guess that's just me.

I'm only writing this entry and putting in insignificant, random rubbish because I don't want to do the Contract essay. I wish I could drop Contract but if I did there goes my money-making machine. I'm still inclined towards Criminal Law (or rather, my idea of it) but everyone knows that you don't make money in that area, and it doesn't make sense for me to go into something that won't make me rich when I chose to do Law mainly because it pays better than Arts.

And you know what? I think my main problem - apart from how I absolutely cannot do well when I'm surrounded with brilliant people because competition kills the fight in me - is exactly that. I keep having this depressing feeling that I'm betraying myself, that this isn't who I really am, that I'd be much happier now doing something which I truly and whole-heartedly enjoy. If I take it to the furthest extreme I'd even say that - gasp - I sold my soul to the devil.

But let's stop being pretentious and really, let's stop making excuses and stop blaming the real world and stop blaming your dad and stop blaming the people who told you to do Law and stop blaming your classmates for being smarter and more hardworking and stop blaming everyone else but yourself. I just need one person in a qualified position to tell me that I can do well, because in Jurong Junior it was more than one person, it was every teacher that counted in my book and every teacher that mattered, and it was so much better there and I wish I were still in JC.

Let's see if I can get this right: The amount of effort I put in is disparagingly disproportionate my initial expectations.

Okay, this is the part where I declare that I want to die.

But before I really die I think I should get started on the Contract essay now.

Edited to add:

It's currently 11.08 p.m. on my laptop clock and my progress with regard (not regardS for crying out loud people) to my Contract essay is in the form of me LawNet-ing some local case and copying and pasting it onto MS Word.

In other words, I have not got started. I'm more interested in looking at my stats. I found out that someone with my IP address viewed this using Mozilla Firefox. The only person in this house who uses Mozilla Firefox is my brother.

But um, I don't really know anything about IP addresses except that it stands for Internet Provider (I think) and I don't even know if each household/Internet subscriber has a unique IP address, but it won't make sense otherwise would it? Am I making sense?

Well if my bro reads this I think I'll just die laughing. He's a meanie who blocks me on MSN. That's just wrong for you don't block your only sister on MSN Messenger, hello? That, like, completely goes against one's basic familial instincts.

Or something.

I need to do that cumbersome and probably onerous essay and I wanna drink my tea.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010