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ways to spell 'doofus'. And I was all awkward silences and incoherent half-sentences and uncertain "um"s and "uh"s and thoughts that disappear halfway through their formations. I'm starting to seriously re-think this whole Law school endeavour and I'm convinced that I'm in the wrong course. I can't think on my feet, I don't know what to say, I'm awkward, I can't speak properly, god what am I doing? My mind was a total blank and I'm not exaggerating at all. I kept saying, "You'd be held to the standard of a 19-year-old" and "standard of care" and whatever else and luckily the walk-in client was a Year 2 student so she didn't give Agatha and I hell; if it'd been a tutor I'm sure she would've clawed on to those technical phrases and demanded an explanation that I can't provide. How do you say such things in plain English? More importantly, how do you think of ways to say those things in plain English in a mere split freakin' second? Oh my god, how am I supposed to do the valedictorian thing in December in front of ONE THOUSAND PEOPLE?!?!?!?!?!?! At Suntec City, some function room or other?! It's true what they say about being careful of what you wish for. I just wanna wallow in self-pity right now. ** I parked my ass at McDonalds' today while waiting for my mom to end her long-ass meeting so that she can pick me up. I was too lazy to take the bus home and it was too hot for that (was wearing a 3/4 sleeves white blouse - and my mini denim skirt), and my laptop battery was flat and I didn't bring anything worth reading, and I was so bored that I started writing down the lyrics to Jielun's Wa Jie. And I discovered, to my horror, that I've forgotten how to write the simplest of all Chinese words. Things like "yan" (smoke), "pei ban" (accompany), "mi man" (permeate), I couldn't remember any of those words and surprisingly I could write phrases like "duo luo" (depressed) and "ji mo" (loneliness). I'm absolutely appalled. It's time to read more Chinese. Like, I dunno, Jay Chou's lyrics. Ha. But they're in traditional Chinese and it confuses me and I don't have the capacity to learn traditional Chinese characters anymore. Sometimes I really do wish I'd never moved to Singapore. ** I need to do my Tort tutorial.
before sunrise // before sunset
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