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i wanna be sedated.
written: 12:19 a.m. on Sunday, Oct. 30, 2005

I'm writing my oral presentation speech and I just had a rather good time writing two nice-sounding sentences. Apart from that, I'm this close to painstakingly pulling out every single strand of my hair from my scalp and I wish I could wake up and it'd be Tuesday, which means that I would've slept Monday (OP Day!) away and done the OP in my sleep or something. It's absolutely annoying and I don't really know the cases because I haven't even read them and I don't intend to read them, so I hope very hard that my tutor won't ask me specific fact-related questions because I wouldn't be able to answer any of them, and then it'd be blatantly obvious, period, that I didn't seriously do my work and that the dribble I'm spewing are cut-and-pasted from the minutes compiled by my very diligent classmates.

If my life were a farce somebody should switch off the laugh tracks right now.

This research binder thing is so PW (Project Work which was an actual and insipid A Level subject - ha, ha, ha, this country will never cease to amuse) like. I received pretty good comments for my oral presentation two years ago, all thanks to my postcards and my prepared speech cut-up and pasted on the back of said postcards. Unlike really brilliant people, I can't speak off the cuff; you give me a list of points presented in brief, curt phrases and I'll read out those points in all their incoherent glory and you won't know at all what the hell I'm saying. Ergo, I'm writing a speech, and I'll be doing the same thing for Monday's dreadful and dreaded presentation, and thus I will spend my precious Sunday Bloody Night memorising the stupid speech.

At times like these, I wish I were either born a brilliant orator or nurtured to be one whilst growing up; such a useful ability would really come in handy right now. Without a prepared speech, I'd be floundering in front of my tutor, saying a sentence halfway and forgetting what I'd initally set out to say, or trying to string together a coherent and sophisticated-sounding sentence and pausing mid-sentence with an uncouth "um" and desperately trying to think of the appropriate, mind-blowing word with which to fill in the blank.

In other words, UTTER DISASTER AND NOTHING LESS. What a pain in the ass, okay?

I have convinced myself that studying for SLS and Tort exam a week before the respective papers is sufficient and I'm sticking to that.

Fuck this lah.

Anyway, I watched A Cinderella Story on HBO just now and it was so stupid that I am amazed I sat through the whole thing. It wasn't even funny; how did my mom laugh at half of that redundant celluloid piece of trash shamelessly masquerading as a "movie"? I mean, Jennifer Cooleridge (I cna't spell her last name) is hilarious and everything but hello, Hilary Duff cannot act, period, and Lindsay Lohan can kick her ass in the acting department anytime, anyday. Besides, Hilary looks too young to be a college-bound student!

Oh well, Chad Michael Murray is really cute and I recently discovered that he played Tristan on the first two seasons of Gilmore Girls which was a pleasant surprise. I've always thought Tristan was cute.

But really, Chad Michael Murray's character is such a cardboard cut-out, computer print-out cliche. How predictably banal, and if you're college-bound I think you're a bit too old for the "boo no one understands me I am so complex and confused"-styled teenage angst. It's just stupid, period.

The next time I conceive of the retarded idea of watching a Hilary Duff movie, someone please take a huge saucepan and hit me over the head with it, thank you.

I have one more irrelevant issue to tackle, after which I can finally watch the fifth episode of Veronica Mars, Season Two. Just to rant a little: I hate Duncan and I hate the "actor" that "plays" him, Teddy Dunn. The latter can't act and thus the former is fucking boring and insipid. He is as exciting as Law school (oops) and as colourful as a black and white movie. Why the hell is Veronica with him? Cut the crap and stop wasting precious Veronica/Logan time for the love of my sanity! I need her with Logan because they, like, totally belong together! Put the first two letters of their names together and they spell LoVe!

Hahaha. That was excruciatingly stupid, the LoVe thing. I mean, it's an intriguing coincidence but it's also rather silly to put into writing, you know? I know.

I spent Tort tutorial on Friday thinking of all the books I want to buy. Intentional Torts to the Person wasn't half as exciting as I'd hoped it would be.

I was just thinking in the toilet, albeit extremely arrogantly, that I'm probably too smart for about 80% of the male population in Singapore. Of the remaining 20%, 99% would probably be fugly, and the remaining 1% would either be taken, or they would be gay. This hypothesis is, of course, entirely unscientific, totally unresearched, and a hundred percent based on my very biased and very pedantic observation of the local pool of...males. Conclusion? There are no eligible and suitable and appealing males left for me in this country; time to look to greener pastures elsewhere.

I have a huge crush on the new VJ on MTV Mandarin. He has such a nice, charming voice, and that Taipei accent! Ahh the Taipei accent! I love the Taipei accent. He hosts the Karaoke show (among other programmes? I don't have) and I tune in sometimes just to hear him talk. I don't particularly like the way his hair looks from the front; it's a fin-like thingy, rather Orlando Bloom-ish when Bloom still had the fin. It looks nice from the back though, and he has pierced ears!

Sadly, I didn't catch his name. On the bright (VERY BRIGHT) side, he doesn't have a stupid English name like the other VJs (one George, another Andy, and Linda, and there's this super-skinny chick whose name I can't remember), and I know this because if he did go by an English name, I'd definitely remember it.

I mean, yeah, this is really pointless and I wanna finish my speech so that I can watch Veronica Mars, so, um, good night.

"I Wanna Be Sedated" - I do want to be sedated, please. It's also a Ramones song and the Ramones was a real punk band which is not something I can say for today's "mainstream punk" (what an oxymoron) Blink182 Green Day Sum 41 Whatever Else crap.

Having said that, I've listened to a few punk banks (the Ramones, The Clash, Minor Threat) and I've decided that I don't like punk. Why? Because it's freaking stupid, and I don't get it, and it's not musical, and it's the same stupid one-line melody repeated over and over for two minutes.

On the other hand, punk may be good to put on when I'm in a crazy mood. Sometimes, I do rather enjoy listening to I Wanna Be Sedated and White Riot (the Clash) and London Calling (the Clash) and London's Burning (the Clash, though I prefer Silverchair's cover), yadayadayada.

Most of the time though, when these songs come on on my Mp3 player, I press the 'next' button really quickly.

And I'm still wasting time. Seriously, I need a complete personality overhaul.

As a parting shot, I'd like to say that I am in deep luv <3 with Stereophonics's "Have A Nice Day".

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010