cartwheels and hot-air balloons.
written: 7:54 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 22, 2006

I am so in love.

He's so adorable. He (apparently) reads James Joyce and Graham Greene and he writes pretty well too. And...HE'S NOT GAY! A male fashion designer who is not gay? Gasp!

Why oh why did he get kicked off fucking Project Runway?!

Wait, the more pertinent question to ask is: Why oh why did I start my Daniel F addiction during the very episode in which he was eliminated? If I hadn't started watching Project Runway, maybe I'd be doing more productive things with my time right now, like, oh I don't know, get STARTED on that stupid legal writing assignment for which I haven't even started a smidge of research?

My personal conference is tomorrow. This is hilarious. I'd go in there, stare at the tutor who'd stare back at me, and I'd pull that "oops I'm so screwed" grin and go, "Haha well what's going on?"

Then again, my tardiness is so justified because LAWR fucking sucks and everyone knows that. It's the worst module ever, right next to Contract...in fact, it may even be worse than Contract. What kind of crazy module allocates 25% of one's grade to class-freaking-participation, especially when there's really nothing much to say during LAWR classes?

Anyway, Friday was Criminal and I had to present and I basically made an arse of myself. I was unprepared and incoherent and yes I pulled that "oops I'm so screwed" grin and I said stupid things in class, but MH was quite interested in my take on abetment (sp) to suicide when I said that suicide isn't any of the state's, or anyone else's business.

Apart from that, I could've died from embarrassment and it's definitely a day I would not like to remember.

Also, on the very same day, I took a cab home and promptly found out that I forgot to bring my keys - even after repeated reminders from my mom. I assumed and thought it was in my black tote bag when in fact it wasn't. And the dumb thing? When I got out of the cab and into the lift I was thinking how hilarious it'd be if I forgot my keys and then I rummaged around in my bag and voila, I really forgot my stupid keys.

On top of that, I forgot to bring my handphone too so I had to walk in the sun all the way to the guard house to use the phone. I called my mom and she got super pissed at me, but she still drove home, all the way from Marina Square, to open the door for me.

I suppose I am really spoilt. But you know what, if I'd known that I left my keys at home while I was at West Mall I would've stayed at West Mall and gone for a movie or something.

Daniel Franco is currently online and I'm too shy to instant message him. What would I say anyway, I love you and please marry me? Right.

He's also 34. What is it with me and way older guys? (A part of me still wants to marry Julian Barnes even though he's been married since forever.) There's another Daniel on the show who is also super hot and more my type and in his 20's but my heart still belongs to Daniel Franco. You should so see that adorable sparkle in his eyes when he gets a great idea and is all, "I have a great idea and you're going to love it." It's so so so cute. When he was making his lingerie pitch to Heidi Klum? I suppose it was quite disturbing that he was talking about lovemaking to a pregnant woman ("I thought of you," he said) but god, he made it sound so sexy and appealing. And that stare - so, totally, swoon-worthy, I haven't the words for it.

I watched the Nicky Hilton episode and all I could think of was, I wonder what Daniel would design for her.

I watched the Banana Republic episode and while I so want to buy the dress that won (which is going for US$268, bless my bank account and Dear Law Degree, you better make me rich), I couldn't help but think, I wonder what Daniel would do; he would so kick Oily Santino's heels-wearing ass.

I don't know why the producers seemed to think that Santino's petulance and unwillingness to hear criticisms about his work is more drama-worthy than Daniel and his perennial story arc of Will He Meet the Deadline or Will He Not? Because, seriously, after the nth Santino Blow-up at the judges, it really gets old and that dude needs to be slapped, hard. He's also in desperate need of a freaking haircut and what was with those heels?!?! That was creepy to say the least.

I have to come up with something to discuss with my tutor tomorrow. I kind of have a very vague idea of what I'm supposed to do with that very boring and melodramatic case, but I'm really too lazy to dig out my materials and determine whether or not Jacqueline Chandran or Chandra or whatever falls into the stipulated confinement period in the statute in question.

I also have a huge problem with interpreting statute - I take everything it says at face value. Because, really, it's not exactly literature, you know. Like the whole Aging Rocker exercise. I was SO SURPRISED when I found out in class that Section 9 (or 9A; I don't remember) of the Misuse of Drugs Act was ambiguous.

And, seriously? Reading statutes is totally boring.

I wanted to go to Wala with Agatha and others on Thursday but then I had to pseudo-prepare for the disastrous criminal law presentation.

I'm 20 this year and I still have never been to a pub. Oh, I so need a life.

I need a freelance writing gig. Anyone, ideas?

First, though, I need a portfolio. I need to write. I value writing above everything else, but most of the time I feel like a big fake because I'm not writing at all. People say they love a particular form of creative expression and have something to show for it; me? I have nothing. My last short story/prose was written a year ago and I keep saying I'd get round to editing it but it's been sitting untouched in my C Drive for, like, ever and nothing has been done. The style for that piece is also rather..pretentious. Some expressions really blur the line between gorgeous imagery and laugh-out-loud, try-too-hard over-writing.

Blurring the line is not good.

You know what prolific means? Julian Barnes is prolific. He also published his first novel in his late 30's. He also won the Somerset Maugham prize for that novel.

I swear, I had a point I wanted to make with the above info - that is, apart from the obvious JB Is A Genius - but I can't remember what it was.

Nevermind then.

I'm getting better at SAT Math.

I'm getting lousier at the essay section. I'm writing the essay this Saturday at 8 a.m. and all of a sudden I've forgotten how to write one. If I screw up that essay, if I go in and read the question and my mind draws nothing but a blank, I would just totally die and it'd be Goodbye 2000-something score and Hello Loserdom.

I'm actually really nervous about the test. It's so long (3h 45min) and you hardly get breaks in between and it's so early in the morning and I haven't even timed myself yet and I feel under-prepared and I'm really afraid of this little thing called a Mind Block which would be so unfair because I like, totally kick ass at this English thing and damn, I need a super high score because, because for obvious reasons (actually, reason, singular), that's why. I crack under pressure (you should've seen me during the A Level period, and right about now, too, actually, what with LAWR assignment deadline and SAT Test on the very same freaking eve of Chinese New Year day) and my brains turn to mush after two hours of continued down-sitting (okay, bad English has reared its head) and I'm just going to die and that's all I need to know.

I was going to buy a present for Pei as it's her birthday tomorrow and I was at Marina Square this morning and after zipping in and out of stores and trying on clothes I came home and realised, Shit, I totally forgot.

And I totally forgot to buy Jielun's EP too.

Oh, and Metersbonwe opened shop in MS and Jielun doesn't advertise for it.

Seriously, the only thing going on for the Chinese brand is Jielun's endorsement. Without it, nobody would even have heard of it. And it REALLY needs his stamp of approval because the clothes, while cheap, are totally fugly.

Anyway, I bought a T-shirt from Esprit. I saw the 30% off sticker, tried it out, liked it, and brought it to the counter. It was only until my mom has paid that I realised the original price is $69.90. My mom kept going off about how money is tight and all that and I felt super bad.

I need to be rich but I want to be true to myself even more. In Daniel's words, "Follow your bliss." It may be vaguely cheesy but it's so true. I know what I need to do; I just don't know if spending four years getting a degree I won't be using is worth it, and that it's not a complete waste of time.

Speaking of waste of time, I can't think of a more apt example than spending over an hour writing a completely useless entry.

I still love Daniel Franco.

And Veronica Mars returns this week. I AM SO EXCITED.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010