a loud exhale.
written: 8:16 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 05, 2006

Following the same train of thought, yesterday was nice. The guy was nice, I had a nice time, it was nice. Somehow, I'm reminded of a scene in a Veronica Mars episode in which Veronica pulls away when Troy leans in to kiss her after their date, and her subsequent unanswered question, posed to herself, "What are you waiting for?"

Maybe I shouldn't go out with guys whom I know (to be fair, after about an hour of interaction, and never really prior to that) I'm not really interested in anymore. I feel bad when he pays for everything and it's the next day and three hours after an SMS I still haven't replied to said SMS because I don't know what to say.

I saw a hot Japanese man today in a Chinese restaurant when I was having lunch with my parents. The white-as-snow skin, the dark hair, the biceps, the rugged features - just, wow.

Of course, that's completely irrelevant.

I do think I set my standards too high; maybe that's why I find it difficult to be both physically and intellectually into a guy. I don't know. I don't really care, either; I'm just tired of this whole game, this careful dance we do where we try too hard to avoid stepping on each other's toes. I want some sort of sophistication that only super-intelligent older men can exude, or so it seems. When it comes down to the bare essential facts, stripped of all embellishments and feel-good niceties, I don't know anything at all.

I still hate being touched, even if it's just a slight shoulder-to-shoulder brush.

**

I bought Liu Geng Hong's Cai Hong Tian Tang yesterday at HMV. Apparently his English name is Will Liu and the English title of his CD is...well, there isn't one, but roughly translated, it's Rainbow Heaven.

He's Jielun's good friend and has appeared in a few of the latter's music videos. I didn't even know he released an album until I saw him on Quan Min Da Huo Guo, a Taiwanese satirical variety show thingy that airs on Starhub Cable 52 Mondays to Fridays at 11 p.m. And frankly, the only reason I bought the album is because he was so cute on the show, and seemed so nice and polite and sweet. In one episode they were spoofing another Taiwanese variety show, some trashy rubbish hosted by a trashy woman, and the topic of that episode was, basically, breasts. One of the guests was this male fitness instructor who was annoying as hell and cocky and arrogant - your typical alpha male. He was so disgusting, the way he kept bragging about how toned his body was and all that jazz; he even pulled down his pants and ALMOST revealed his crotch to show the camera some muscle or other. Whatever, really. Anyway, my point is, Liu Geng Hong was like, really cool, seemed soft-spoken and humble, and he was wearing this beanie (? wool cap?) and he looked so cute, and so I bought his CD.

Well, it doesn't suck, but it isn't exactly fantastic either. It's okay. Jielun wrote half the songs in that CD and only a few are really good. I do enjoy Qinghua a lot, but I prefer the original version. They reproduced the one on the CD and the orchestration is a bit overdone.

I love Veronica Mars, like, so much. The latest episode was awesome, even though there wasn't enough Logan. When the hell is he and Veronica gonna get back together? God, put me out of my misery already!

And school starts again and there's LAWR tomorrow and basically I'm thinking of cutting classes all over again.

Pre-Monday blues. Where's that gun and bullet?

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010