crazy little thing called love.
written: 3:52 p.m. on Friday, Apr. 14, 2006
It was apparently some story about the candidate running a red light, getting caught and being fined $900.
Um. Okay.
**
If you ask me, the obvious media bias is fucking ridiculous.
If you really want to know, the severe lack of press freedom in this country is depressing and deplorable. I would rather have a media circus a la Taiwan (oh my god, you should watch Taiwanese news whenever there are elections coming up, which is about a few time a year) than media propaganda. The last I checked, I'm not as stupid as the incumbent ruling party would like me to be.
If you want the honest truth, I am sick of seeing men in all white. You can only gain legitimacy if you play fair.
**
So I went to the zoo today with aunts and cousins and it wasn't fun. It rained 5 minutes after I stepped into the entrance, light drizzle on and off, and it was humid and wet and disgusting and I was all sticky and gross. The rain got heavier as the hours got longer and most of the animals were either hiding in the shade or lazing languidly about.
Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream didn't taste good today.
It's 4.05 p.m. and I haven't started studying.
**
I like this site a lot. I go there mostly to take their personality tests and sometimes to browse pictures of its users when I'm bored out of my skull (which is quite often lately). It's so fun! It's also a great testament to how weird people can be. I saw a picture of some big-bottomed woman baring her big bottom for the whole world to see - yuck.
And another weird thing is: They have an instant messaging function and 9 out of 10 instant messages I receive are from Indian nationals. Why the hell is that? I don't have anything against Indians (I'd readily date a hot Indian if one asked me out...then again, I'd date a hot anyone) but that's just kind of weird, considering...yeah, considering I've spoken to less than 5 Indian men in real life throughout my entire life.
How sad is that?
Well, needless to say, I ignore all the IM's I get and don't reply to any messages. Haha.
Unless the person doing the message-writing lives far, far away and has an interesting profile.
I came across a computer/math (can't remember which; same difference to me) student from Warwick whose profile made me laugh. It's definitely better than reading crap like "i m a nice fun guy", "wah so long neva update dis profile liaoz" and "i like play pool" on sites that Singaporeans frequent.
**
Um, random survey to Singaporeans that read this:
How important is the Singapore Constitution to you? Let me know; I'm curious. It may also help me for my legal theory exam!
**
Kelvin's birthday today and Ruishan is the sweetest girlfriend alive. Go read her blog. She was telling me about her present-making process over MSN yesterday and I was like, Wow. WOW. WOW!
Because - wow. The amount of effort and love she put into the present is simply amazing. If I were Kelvin, I'd probably propose! Haha. I don't know if I could do that if I were in her position. I suppose I can't say for sure, but I'm not sweet and I'm terribly selfish with my time and I'd probably think it's not worth it, bearing in mind the default two-month expiry date I'd have at the back of my mind. It must be nice to feel like that for someone, the way Ruishan does for Kelvin.
Anyway, I'm happy for them.
**
To be quite honest, I don't want a boyfriend. In the first place I'm not capable of being in a relationship. I'm not programmed to love unconditionally (excuse the cliche), to take the good with the bad, to stop expecting perfection. My needs will always come before his, two months later I'd probably be getting bored, and I'm too self-centered to try to make it work. I don't think I will even try.
And even if I wanted a boyfriend sometime in the future it'd probably be just an excuse to have sex. HAHA!
I'm kidding - kind of. But I'm not a casual sex kind of person and I'm also not the 'wait till marriage' sort (because I'm not getting married, remember?) so I'm somewhere in between. The next thing you do after you fall in love? You have sex, of course.
Or not. It's a non-issue anyway.
But one thing is for sure: I don't understand the Western media's portrayal of sex. Like, a man and a woman meets at a bar, exchange 10 sentences in total and call it a 'conversation', and then head home and jump into bed? I don't get it. I probably never will. Maybe someone should explain it to me.
Or then again, whatever it is, I don't want to know.
**
So I miss, like, the whole world. Mel - I miss her a lot. She's a precious one, without a doubt.
And I miss other people too but I miss Mel the most out of everyone. Sorry to play favourites but I believe the phrase 'best friend' still means something to someone as hardened as me, so yeah. There you go.
But I'm the absent best friend who's never around and you have no idea how much I hate myself for that.
**
I need to cut my hair. I'm going to cut my hair in Taipei. I love Taipei. I wish I could go there and never come back. I'd hook up with the guy who hosts the karaoke programme on MTV Chinese because he's super cute, speaks beautiful Mandarin and probably speaks English too and have a great life. There are so many things I want to do and law school is the barrier to every single one of them. Why am I still doing this? Why am I still here? Prestige stops being wonderful after its glean has worn off and a piece of paper is easily reduced to dust once you set it on fire. What's the big deal about an LLB (Hons) if you're not even going to use it? How is it going to get me out of this country? Why am I still hanging on?
Bottom line? I'm afraid. Of letting go, of moving on, of changes, of taking a chance. That's all there is to it. Nothing more, nothing less.
**
4.45 p.m. Time to start studying.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010