an actual update
written: 5:02 p.m. on Tuesday, May. 16, 2006

I AM: Mostly a blank.
I WANT: A publishing contract, followed by a constant flow of inspiration needed to fulfil the obligations under said contract.
I WISH: I could write something.
I HATE: The thought of being stuck here forever.
I MISS: Right now? Mel. COME BACK FROM THAILAND ALREADY LAH!
I FEAR: Living a lifetime of regrets, and stepping out of my comfort zone.
I HEAR: Dead people...bwahahaha.
I WONDER: Why I'm so fat.
I REGRET: Too many things to name.
I AM NOT: What I am. Sorry I couldn't resist. And it was the first thing to pop to mind.
I SING: In karaoke rooms, in the backseat of my parents' car during a long drive, to myself when playing computer games.
I CRY: And then I pretend that it never happened.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: The person I'd like myself to be.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Words when I pick up a pen to write.
I WRITE: Therefore I am.
I CONFUSE: Naive young boys. Sorry.
I NEED: A love life, or something that halfway resembles it. I also need lots and lots of money. But then again, if I have a love life, I don't need money; my love life would naturally and automatically supply the money. So it still goes back to I need a (freaking) love life.
I SHOULD: Be able to do what I want to do. But.
I START: Writing things and I never come close to finishing them.
I FINISH: Watching Veronica Mars over and over really quickly.
I LOVE: The people I love.
I REMEMBER: Things I'm better off forgetting.

I tag: Mag, Mel, Tingren, Yuenmei, Yuch, and YOU! (Whoever you are.)

**

Moot grade: C+

The hell?! I wasn't aware I did that badly. Oh well, the potentially upsetting nature of this piece of info is pretty much offset by...

Final moot memorial grade: A-

Yep, that's my first A-something from law school. Highest grade to date, and quite a jump from the C-whatever I got for the first draft. Then again, I'm pretty sure everyone got around the same grades 'cause there's no way in hell I could do better than most of them so yeah. The downside is, I had C's for everything else with regard to LAWR so the final grade would probably be either a C+ or a B-.

My phone died on me. It's currently charging. I woke up at 9-something in the morning yesterday just so my mom could give me a ride to Orchard. I wanted to buy underwear but the better ones cost too much and so I didn't. I did, however, buy a tank top from Esprit (normal price S$40; like what the hell is so special about the top that gives it the right to cost forty dollars? Good thing I had a discount voucher. And I still have another one) and a polo tee from Zara. I wanted a buy a pleated denim skirt, a really, really perfect one to end my desire to own a short pleated denim skirt ONCE AND FOR ALL, but the ones I tried on at Mango hugged my huge hips too tightly and they looked weird. That sucks, for I was quite ready to fork out $75 for one of them. Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

I want Samurai Champloo DVDs. Damn. I don't even know where to go to buy anime DVDs. eBay has tons of English dubs but I don't watch dubbed animes, films and television shows (hence I don't watch Hong Kong dramas; the dubbing really annoys me). Subtitles is the watchword.

I was quite happy to miss my period last month so imagine how disappointed I was when I saw blood on my underwear a couple of days back. What the hell. I wanted to go swimming, too, and maybe even run but I hate sweating when I'm all bloody and gross down there so I'll have to wait a couple of days more.

And...yeah I am just making excuses not to exericse. I'm just so lazy.

My mom spent $135 on stuff for my face yesterday. She rocks. I ran out of facial wash a few days before my exams and was stuck with using something my mom bought for my brother, which apparently he doesn't use anymore. It's also apparently for pimples and so it's quite strong. My face, being the uber-sensitive piece of crap it is, became all red and grotesque a few days later and I finally couldn't stand it anymore (because everytime I looked into a mirror - which is really quite often - my reaction was something like, "YOU ARE FUCKING UGLY.") and told my mom that I needed new facial stuff to treat my stupid face. Hence.

It's quite obvious that I'm just typing a bunch of nonsense.

I wonder if you can die from caffeine overdose. Forget recreational drugs; caffeine can get you so very high if you want it to. The other day I had one huge cup of Nescafe coffee at home. Then I went to Starbucks and got an iced macchiato. Then after that I had dinner with my parents at this place called Hong Kong Cafe somewhere in East Coast which I wanted to go to because I saw a sign that says "Nai Cha" (milk tea) taped to their window, and so I had a cup of milk tea. Suffice to say that I felt freaking horrid after that, and it probably didn't help any that we had dinner in the un-air-conditioned part of the restaurant and it was all hot and stuff.

I have found out that I'd get a headache if I don't drink coffee in the afternoon.

Or is that due to too much sleep/lack of sleep?

I can't wait to go to Taiwan! Next Thursday people, next Thursday. I'm thinking of getting a Nikon Coolpix S5 to take pictures while I'm there, though I really want the S6 'cause it's WIRELESS!, but I don't know if it's the best camera I can get. I'm attracted to it because I LOVE the design and because it's Nikon, hello. The name itself sends shivers up my spine.

Okay, it doesn't really, but yeah.

Dammit, I really want to swim. Fucking stupid menstruation.

(spoilers warning for Season 2 of Veronica Mars. Again.)

I'm watching Season 2 of VM again and everytime I see Cassidy I just feel sad. Needless to say I'm still bloody haunted by that finale, which is probably the best finale ever. From a critical viewpoint it may not hold up under scrutiny but if a TV episode can mess with my emotions like that, something genius must've gone down. Seriously. I'm not one to be affected by a television show; in fact, prior to Veronica Mars I wasn't even mildly obsessed with any TV shows. And now one kid blows up a stupid bus and I'm here in mourning as if a real friend had died.

Rob Thomas, I don't care what they say; you are a genius.

I just realised that I'm turning 20 in two months. If there's ever a good time to get oneself a hot summer fling, this is totally the best time. Interested candidates, please drop off an application at yelen.dean14[at]gmail[dot]com, stating your reasons for wanting to be my hot summer fling. Please attach a photo of yourself. Guys below the age of...hmm, 24? 25? thereabout need not apply.

20 years old. Just...wow.

There's this person who's quite interested in me. Yeah.

It's the same old story, time and time again. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl doesn't care. When am I going to get one along the lines of, Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl falls for boy?

I'm sorry dude. I don't date guys younger than me. I'm not even too keen of the idea of dating guys my age, or even guys a couple of years older. You were right about something; I am high maintenance. I guess what neither of us knew was just how high maintenance I am.

But the things I want are really quite simple: A reasonably experienced guy (I'm not letting a never-been-kissed virgin pop my cherry) with an amazing command of English; good-looking; tall; ability to get me on an emotional and intellectual level; ability to break me; and ability to interest me for longer than two fucking months. I'm not even setting a racial quota, so that means idealistically my pool of candidates is...oh, I don't know, the whole damn world.

Yeah, well. Hope springs eternal in the human breast;/Man never is, but always to be, blest;/The soul, uneasy and confined from home,/Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

Lastly, my gum hurts.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010