there is no point to this entry.
written: 6:05 p.m. on Monday, Jun. 12, 2006

The catch is, my mom somehow convinced me to sign up for manual transmission and so I will be struggling with clutches and gear changes and whatever else after I'm done with basic and/or final theory. How very exciting.

To be quite honest, what ultimately made me change my mind (I was adamant about not learning manual; I was all, Who the hell drives manual cars anyway? They're like bloody outdated lah!) was the possibility of my licence being useless in foreign countries. Because I will leave this country one fine day and I think I would like the option of being able to drive no matter where I end up. Even if I do eventually end up in Taipei, even if driving is a bad, bad idea in Taipei, having the option there for me to take is always good. Besides, I'd rather drive to, say, Taoyuan, which is near Taipei, than to take the train.

(Note: Driving in Taipei is bad because 1) the Metro is way cheaper; 2) parking is bloody expensive; 3) parking is almost impossible to do if you're not in Taipei City; 4) the Metro is very convenient and usually the stations are within walking distance from wherever you are; and 5) you have to compete with motorcycles for road space - enough said.)

Well, I expect myself to fail numerous times before passing. I probably won't be able to drive to school until, say, semester two or something. Great. I guess I really have to walk ten million miles from campus to the bus stop just to get home. Ugh. The Bukit Timah idea has never seemed more fucked up.

I will not think about school until I absolutely have to.

So I received mail from the British Council today. Pre-arrival seminar! Sign up before July!

That's great, except you forgot the part where my offers were automatically declined because I forgot the deadline, and the part where I'm not doing anything about it because I'm not going anymore. Just when I think I've forgotten and moved on, something like mail from the British Council just has to pop up in my mailbox and tempt me all over again.

I just want to stick to one thing, get it over and done with, and then move on. Amidst all of that, I'm comforted by the reminder that Taipei is only a four-hour flight away.

I guess I will be getting that law degree, since failing is apparently not very easy to do in law school, even if you'd done effectively nothing for a module over the span of two semesters. My Taiwanese relatives asked me if law school is difficult and I had one easy answer: It's not difficult to pass. Getting good grades, however, is another ballgame altogether...and so is failing.

Nevertheless, despite my 'I don't fucking care' attitude which is definitely real, a part of me is still agitated whenever people do better than me - which is kind of all the time. It ultimately boils down to whether this agitation can overcome my laziness/annoyance/indifference or if it's too insignificant to matter.

Then again, what does it matter? I'm not thinking about school. I still have a vacation left to enjoy, nevermind that I'm in Singapore.

I don't have any illusions about Taipei. I've seen it for what it is, I've lived it, and despite its grimy buildings and strange toilet habits, congested roads, disgusting air, stench of poop that lingers in the air everywhere during winter, dirty streets, run-down buildings, crappy politicians, the safety that Singapore has which Taipei doesn't quite have, all these things, I still want to go back and stay there. Not everything is greener in Taipei, both literally and figuratively, but it doesn't matter because I'd take the good with the bad and the good outweighs the bad. Things actually happen over there. I can't remember the last time something happened in Singapore.

Well, I'm not making sense. Maybe another time, when I'm not so hungry.

Anyway, I've gone to Orchard four times since last Monday and I'm bloody sick of it. I want to go to Marina Square. It's really big and it now has small stores that sell cheaper stuff and I want to check out those places. But damn, Zara and Mango opposite each other? Fuck me before I die of boredom.

I was at Mango yesterday trying on a red/black striped polo t-shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was shocked. I was actually skinny - and unnaturally so. Then I noticed that the stupid mirror was placed slanted.

What the hell. I'm this close to declaring that I'm over Mango. It's so damn ludicrous that I can't believe it took me so long to notice. What is the point of employing such a cheap trick? People will ultimately figure it out and use the normal mirror available outside the stupid fitting room.

Oh wait, then again, people are stupid in general. I guess they're counting on that.

Ugh, whatever. I even went to Guess because it's having a sale but I didn't buy anything. I can't see the logic in paying $55.90 for a normal t-shirt that says "I heart Guess", especially when said t-shirt is made in India. Economics logic tells me that there is no logic, that I'm paying too much, and so I say, Screw it.

I still remember the good ol' days when I got excited over clothes and felt the unstoppable urge to buy certain pieces of clothing, such that buying clothes felt like life or death matters. I would come across a really great top that I had to get, or else. Nowadays? Not so much anymore. I can try on something nice and still be quite neutral about it, such that I can either take it or leave it. You see the same shops wherever you go and after a while it gets really, really dull.

Which is why Zara and Mango opposite each other spells one major Snoozefest for me. Yeah, whatever. I don't care anymore.

I still like Esprit though. At least their clothes have some semblance to quality. The stupid t-shirts I buy from Zara always become slanted after a while, and some of the stuff I bought from Mango suffers from the same money-wasting affliction. My t-shirts from Esprit? Never. This is precisely why I won't hesitate shelling out fifty bucks for an Esprit t-shirt, while I will have to seriously like the design of a Zara/Mango t-shirt of the same price before I buy it.

I am currently very hungry. There is no point to this entry. You just wasted five minutes of your life reading it. Sorry.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010