what's the haps?
written: 5:51 p.m. on Thursday, Jun. 29, 2006

I'm sitting here, listless and bored, going through my mental list of people whom I could stand to be around for longer than five minutes and mulling over who I could call to hang out with me tomorrow. I'm doing this for a while and I do ask a few people but no one is free, but the bigger catch is, they are all girls.

I haven't finished writing about Taipei and I'm afraid the memories are starting to fade.

There is nothing wrong with hanging out with girls and I do love and appreciate my friends, but there's always a 'but' when one starts a sentence like that and there is a 'but' here, too. But there are days when you don't feel like hanging out with girls and you want to go out with a guy but you go through that mental list and you're astounded when a few unsavoury names pop up and you think indignantly to yourself, "I'm not that desperate!" Because I'm not, no matter how many self-pitying parties I find myself throwing for myself, no matter how many Friday and Saturday nights I continue to spend at home, no matter how much I wonder what is so wrong with me that no one wants to go out with me.

I want to go to New York, Los Angeles, Paris, Mexico, anywhere that'd take me away from here.

The day that I become desperate is probably the day that I decide suicide is finally in order. Seriously, as much as I want to make out with someone right now, I'd rather die than to settle for some cheap-ass ah beng I "scored" on the Internet. I'm not saying I'm above meeting people off the Internet, just that I am too good to meet just anyone. The average Singaporean male has bad English, bad Chinese (assuming he's Chinese), no sense of sophistication, and that I absolutely cannot stand. Call me arrogant and you can bet that I'd agree with you a hundred percent. But just like I know exactly what I don't want, I don't know at all what I want either.

I'm thinking about all the cities I've never been to and how invigorating it'd be to experience all those cities and I feel the travel bug biting me and luring me away from this tiny-ass country.

Singlehood has been fun. Unfortunately, I am bored.

Singapore has been...safe. Unsurprisingly, I am bored out of my skull.

School is starting soon, I'm turning in a couple of weeks, and a year later I'd be typing the same thing all over again. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

Why is life so important if it's so mind-numbingly boring?

**

A survey because I am bored. I leeched this off Khai.

1. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed romantically?
I haven't seen him ever since the day I broke up with him at an MRT station four years ago. Story of my life (unless the guy in question is unfortunate enough to be my classmate).

2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Nope.

3. What did you do in 2nd grade when you weren't in school?
Um. Running around at home.

4. What is the best thing about your job?
I'm jobless. I will remain jobless until school re-starts.

5. Do you like more than one person right now?
You know, I'm incapable of liking more than one person at the same time. I find that to be a great, crippling liability. In any case, I don't like anyone right now.

6. Are you against same sex marriages?
I am against the stand against same-sex marriages.

7. Did you vote for Bush?
Not American. Don't want to be. Wouldn't have voted for Bush if I were American.

8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
Where do I start... Oh wait, where AM I going? Nowhere.

9. Have you had sex with any of your top 8?
My what?

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
Girls. All girls. I'm beginning to suspect I'm gay.

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
My study table? From Ikea. Among other things.

12. Last book you read?
Too embarrassing to admit, because I haven't been reading. God I should die. Really.

13. If you could have one superpower what would it be?
Too many to name. I'd have all.

14. Where have you lived most of your life?
I really hate to admit to this because admittance means reality, but Singapore. Damn, no wonder I have not lived.

16. Where do you see yourself in 4 years?
Taipei. If I don't get there in four years' time (I plan to get there in less than four years' time actually, but for the purposes of this question), you, my friend, have the permission to kill me where such things are legal.

17. What's your favorite smell?
The smell of the rain. I love the rain.

18. What is your favorite sound?
Nothing in particular.

19. Are you moody?
Yes. A lot, nowadays.

20. Favorite movie of all time?
For a while it was Rebel Without A Cause. I don't know if it still is. I know that I still idolise James Dean.

21. Have you ever done anything hurtful to a friend?
Probably, yes.

22. -makes no sense so i won't print it

23. Have you ever played spin the bottle?
Somehow, this weird American...custom never quite made it to Singapore. Or it did and I wasn't invited to the party. That really wouldn't surprise me.

24. Have you ever toilet papered someone's house?
See above.

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
No. I have pretty much told all the people I ever had crushes on, including a teacher at my old school. (I told him after I graduated, of course.)

26. Have you ever gone camping?
Yes and I am not keen to repeat the experience. Let's just say I'm more of a luxury hotels/higher end budget hotels kind of girl.

27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's friend?
My sister? I don't have a sister.

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
Um, ew.

29. Have you ever gone streaking?
Right. I'm pretty sure that's an offence punishable under the Penal Code.

30. Have you ever had a stalker?
Annoying guys who text you even though you don't even bother to text them back? Yes. Anything beyond that, no.

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
No. Ew. I'm too ugly to be caught naked in public.

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Yes. Sometime in secondary school with Yun. I can't remember what it was about, though.

33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person?
Curious fact: I've never been to a party. I don't quite intend to, either.

34. Do you want kids?
Hell no.

35. have you ever felt betrayed by a best friend?
Yes.

36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Of course. Who hasn't? Nowadays, however, not so much...though I did just lie to my mom this week but that's another story which I don't wanna get into. Needless to say it felt really, really bad.

37. Have you ever been out of the US?
Yeah okay, next question please.

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
No.

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat?
No.

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places?
Ew. That is so gross.

41. Last song you listened to?
Something by Stereophonics from their Just Enough Education to Perform CD.

42. Have you ever spied on someone?
Um, no. That's creepy.

43. Have you ever slept with one of your co-workers?
My co-workers? I don't work, remember? I'm waiting for my bank account to go bust before I do something about my tragic financial situation. I'm thinking, whoring yourself!, but then again, sex and me aren't exactly best friends, so maybe not. I'm rambling. I feel like a swim but damn, the period. Oh, I'm really rambling. Shut up, Yelen. Thank you.

44. What do you think of the person who posted this survey?
Probably an ass.

45. Who was the last person who called you?
I can't remember. It's funny how I still remember most of the details of my Taipei trip but not a simple thing like who was the last person to call me. Well.

46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours straight?
All the time.

47. Have you ever been arrested?
No.

48. Have you ever stolen anything?
When I was a kid.

49. Have you ever drank egg nog?
No.

50. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
Taipei in my own apartment somewhere near Ximending or something. Actually I have no idea how apartment-buying works over there, but...yeah. I don't mind living at my grandparents' apartment actually, provided I'm there mostly by myself, even if the bed is hard and the toilet is gross and the kitchen is puny. The kitchen doesn't really matter since I don't cook anyway, but...yeah. I'm rambling again. Shut up, Yelen.

**

I could really use a lobotomy right about now.

before sunrise // before sunset


Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010