nonsensical ramblings.
written: 8:16 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 05, 2006

What I like about his films is his amazing ability to create tangible, prickly tension and suspense that sucks you in and induces you to unknowingly be on the edge of your seat, peering at the film through halfway-parted fingers over your eyes (for me, I'm too embarrassed to cover my eyes and so I squeeze them halfway shut instead). I can't quite remember The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable because I've only watched them once, but I remember quite clearly the way he used the eerie, quiet atmosphere of Signs and The Village to build up suspense and simply create such thick tension that you could almost slice it into half with a very blunt knife. He chucked Joaquin Phoenix and Mel Gibson, along with the two kids, in an isolated farm in Signs and constantly reminded us of how alone they are; and in The Village, he made use of the blindness of the protagonist in the climax of the film to convey just how frightening the situation was. As long as Bryce Dallas Howard couldn't see anything, neither could the audience. All we saw was her shivering hand creeping towards something in the darkness, and we're just as afraid as her to find out what it is.

And in the midst of all the madness and fear, he manages to make his films look breath-takingly beautiful.

So when I saw advertisements for his latest film, Lady in the Water, I was all, Dude, I have to see this! My nerves were more or less assured by the fact that this time round, it's not a horror movie, but a fantasy. Which means it isn't scary. Which means I won't have to watch the movie through half-shut eyes.

But this is M. Night Shyamalan, Master of Suspense. I should have known better than to think that I won't be scared at all, because even though it really wasn't scary, there were still a few scenes where I found myself shifting in my seat and squeezing my eyes shut. I also jumped a few times.

Having said that, Lady in the Water is probably his worst film to date. While most people hated The Village, I loved it because Joaquin Phoenix was adorable in it and because it was a typically anti-utopia story and I'm very partial to things like that, even more so when they're extremely well-executed. I know people who thought the twist in The Village was stupid, but I actually thought it was clever and aptly illustrated the absolute madness of fanatics who would go to such lengths to forge perfection, or at least their warped idea of a perfect world. In short, it exemplified very well the folly of human nature, how we're so very capable of ruining the things that we try to make better, to perfect.

I didn't hate Lady in the Water, but for a Shyamalan film it just wasn't very good. It was probably his most heavy-handed, preachy film. Signs was kind of preachy but Lady in the Water was just a bit too much. I enjoyed watching the film and I loved feeling like a kid again and the whole suspension of disbelief/cynicism that made me buy into the story, but it felt like a moral treatise on faith and destiny and whatever. His voice was too loud in the film, and it REALLY didn't help that his trademark cameo is a supporting role this time round. (Side note: I never realised how good-looking he is, until now. Hahaha.)

That said, I absolutely loved the movie critic. HE WAS SO FUNNY! He's pretty much a lash-out at the generic, crappy movies that Hollywood produces which I hate. His final scene was even hilarious, even though it really shouldn't have been. I would watch this film again just to watch his scenes.

Lastly, Mr. Heep reminded me of Tubby. I miss Tubby!

**

I have this sneaking suspicion that my dad will hate all the guys I go out with. In fact, I can't remember ever coming home from a date to a sea of calm masquerading as my dad.

Yesterday, the King of Passive Aggressiveness was at his best, and it was the scariest shit ever. Deafening silence in the car. Deafening silence in the elevator. Deafening silence at home. I was left asking my mom, quite dejectedly, if he was indeed mad at me. He still hasn't talked to me about any of it, and I'm hoping he doesn't. I think I get my non-confrontational tendencies from him; I'd rather pretend that there is no problem than to deal with it. If I don't think about it, it must not exist.

Self-delusion is a powerful tool. And so I'm using it to avoid talking about the thorny issue my dad and I have been skirting around all day long, and so I've managed to con myself into believing that everything is okay.

But of course, I'm not stupid. I know that yesterday was just the beginning of the culmination of many events that are to come, which will blow up massively in my face one fine day. When that happens, there will be definite hell to pay - for him and for me.

I get the protectiveness thing, the 'just looking out for you' thing. Believe me, I don't expect any less from normal, loving parents. But there comes a time when you have to start letting go, because your child isn't a child anymore, and it hurts her when you don't trust her judgement - especially when she's a lot smarter than you give her credit for. Granted, I can't say I know what I'm doing; in fact, I'm pretty sure that I don't know what I'm doing. But it's always been like this with me. I throw myself head-first into something, I don't think about the repercussions, and when the shit hits the fan I just pick myself up and move on. And every single time that happens, I pile on more bricks onto the wall around my heart and I'm a stronger person because of it. I won't be who I am today if I'd let my parents dictate my decisions in the past, and I don't regret anything I've done, not even the dirty ones.

I'm past being the good girl I appear to me. I've never really been the stereotypical good girl anyway; there are some things I'm never going to tell my folks. It's for their own good, really. And besides, they're not important. Not anymore.

So, the dad thing. Actually, come to think of it, he did vaguely express something that can halfway resemble approval once, towards a guy I went out with. It just so happened that he was a medicicine student and all wrong for me. To put it pseudo-mathematically, the guys I'm attracted to + the guys my parents approve of = empty set. Always has been, probably always will be.

I'm never getting married.

I'm never getting a real boyfriend.

Hell, I don't even want a boyfriend. I can't imagine doing girly things like cook for a guy. I can't even cook something edible for myself that isn't instant noodles. I mean, cooking for your boyfriend is sweet and all but I'd die before I describe myself as 'sweet' so no thank you, that's not a route I'd want to go down on anytime soon.

(Ah, yes. I just had to say 'go down on'. Um, yeah.)

Give me senseless making out sessions that don't remotely mean a thing, because they sound like real fun to me right now. It's like having one night stands without having sex. Am I making sense? Probably not.

Nevermind.

**

The verdict is in: I look like a goody-two-shoes.

I had my hair trimmed yesterday at Chapter 2 and my hair stylist told me that. He's about the nth person to say such a thing. It's, uh...I don't even know what it is. I know I look like a kid which sucks more than you can possibly imagine but to look like a goody-goody kid? Oh, man.

I need plastic surgery. Stat.

**

My hair stylist permed his hair. Haha. He's one hilarious bugger. Actually, I think he's quite cute, but he speaks in this beng-ish way which is quite a turn-off. Oh well.

Anyway, my mom hates my new hair, as usual. Personally I think it's quite nice (for want of a better phrase) even though I look even more like a kid now than ever.

Damn. I want Kristen Bell's hair. It's all long and nice. I'm envious of her in so many ways.

Still torn on whether or not I should watch Pulse. Yahoo! Movies misinformed me that it opens this week and it didn't even bother updating its information. Fucking clowns. Kristen said that she did Pulse to get over her fear of horror movies. I wish I could do something like that too.

**

National Day looms around the corner and this is one of the worst times of the year for me. Fireworks and couples and unmet expectations.

Fuck it.

I have some unresolved emotional issues. I don't care.

I am not patriotic and never will be.

**

I need to own Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I thought I already have it but it turns out that I don't.

I love that film. One of my favourite films, ever.

**

I am a total consumerism whore. I love buying things. I love being able to walk into a store and buy whatever I want. I love buying things just because I can. I love buying things online because PayPal makes it so easy. I love buying DVDs of TV shows I worship just to own them.

And so it sucks like hell that I STILL don't have any bloody significant money in my bloody stupid bank account and this situation is going to stick until...I don't even know until when. Until my parents take pity on me and transfer some money into the account?

Why don't we just say 'never' and save me the trouble of typing and conceiving that useless sentence? It's never gonna happen. You know how kids of rich parents feel when their folks lose their jobs and they lose everything? I can totally empathise right now.

Reality - life - is a total bitch.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010