the mock trial and its aftermath.
written: 5:53 p.m. on Thursday, Oct. 26, 2006

But then again, most of the time I don't care how other perceive me anyway (note that I said most of the time).

My point is, I read the previous entry a while ago and I was sufficiently amused by how ridiculous I was. In fact, yesterday, immediately after Company lecture, I was still freaking out. Like, MAJORLY freaking out. Stomach churning, heart pumping, anti-adrenaline rush and all that jazz. And for what reason? Of course, my driving force was that I Totally Do Not Want To Embarrass Myself, but little did I know that I would subsequently go on to completely embarrass myself in a completely different manner, one which I completely did not anticipate.

Okay, I'll cut the crap and get straight to the point (as we learn to do in law school - well, the conscientious ones amongst us anyway). During my closing submission, which I prepared beforehand, I said, full of confidence, "I would concede this entire case right now if it can be shown that it's even biologically possible to [kiss someone continuously for five minutes]."

When I wrote that in my closing submission, I was thinking, Wah, damn drama siah. This is so like what they say in movies lorz!

So imagine how badly I fucking wanted to just melt into a puddle and slowly and painfully disappear when the judge (lawyer acting as judge) TOTALLY called me on it. I can't remember what he said exactly but it was more or less along the lines of, Counsel, that's an extremely dangerous concession to make. And I have heard of kissing contests in which contestants kiss for way longer than five minutes.

The only thing on the tip of my tongue then was, Wow, I'm totally exposing my complete lack of experience with the opposite sex. But I suppressed that and went, Okay, I'll retract that statement.

But you know, at THAT point in time, when I was still going through my closing, it didn't register that it was that big of a joke...until the lawyer was giving KW and I feedback and he said that my closing was the best part of the whole performance - that is, until I got to that stupid statement. At the back of my mind I think I saw that the lawyer was trying super hard not to laugh out loud, but I was too busy being mired in my utter embarrassment and ridiculousness that it didn't quite register at that point in time.

So guess when all the shit FINALLY hit the fan? When KW took the piss out of me over that thing I said about it being biologically impossible to kiss non-stop for five minutes FOR THE ENTIRE NIGHT. I stopped trying to justify myself after a while and resorted to the typical, You're so mean! boo-hoo whiny crap that people pull sometimes when they know they've lost.

Well, on the bright side, amusement was had by all, so props to me for providing some entertainment, eh? I think so too. And to be honest, I was actually really, super embarrassed about it later on that night when KW continued taking the piss and then SIMON like totally ganged up on me with him (I was all, DUDE, I've been your friend for so long and you just met this guy and you're taking his side?!), but I got home and suddenly got all zen and I was all, Well, who the fuck cares? Yeah that's what I said and I stand by it. And (tongue-in-cheek) isn't my innocence so totally adorable? Um, hahaha.

In school today I spread the news myself before KW had the chance to do it - not that I actually think he would, but just in case, and everything. Anyway, I've definitely learnt my lesson: I need to kiss more guys. Yeah, like totally. My love life is a joke, my sex life is extinct, and these two factors are enough to mitigate the faux pas I pulled. Yes, they are.

Anyway, last night was fun. The mock trial itself was, for the most part, decent. My cross-examination didn't go as well as I'd hoped, I completely choked during the re-examination (meaning, I stood up, asked two fucking leading questions, had a total mind block, didn't say anything for a very fucking long time, asked some random question because I was grasping at straws, then gave up. I stopped short of saying, "Right, no further questions."), and then there was that "I will concede my case blah blah kiss for whatever blah blah" statement I pulled. Oh, and I've slept through so many lectures in school that I didn't know that one should never pose a question to the court. I went like, "I'd like to pose a question to the court: Why would my client confess to Rendee Jexon that Paula slapped him if he were indeed guilty of the crime?" And there was another rhetorical question but I forgot what it was. During the comments period the lawyer called me on that too and say that it's very bad, yadayada, rhetorical questions shouldn't be used, etc. But I like rhetorical questions! They're so cool because the question suggests the answer, and I'm giving my audience enough credit to "get it", you know?

Okay, I'll quit trying to justify myself. That was stupid, period. But it wasn't as stupid as the kissing thing, right?

Anyway, apart from that, the whole thing was okay. I peeked at the grading sheet and saw a whole row of B's so yeah...THAT WAS PRETTY COOL. It won't actually be reflected on my transcript but the point is that I didn't do that much worse than KW, even though he said he only started preparing on the day of the mock trial itself.

His cross-examination was super cool though. I totally had no idea what the hell he was doing until Simon was completely led into the trap and was locked in, and he did it so. aggressively. And his case theory? I didn't really spend a lot of time thinking of what it could be, but whatever it was I thought it could be, his actual case theory was nothing like what I thought it would be. You know? Even now I still don't know what it was, because it was that complex.

Or maybe I'm just dumb. Yeah, that must be it.

The lawyer liked my opening and closing. Honestly, I wrote the whole thing out and took it there and basically conducted an exercise in How to Read Out Loud. The only reason it didn't suck was because I wrote it out. This only further proves my point: I'm a writer, not a lawyer. Thank you.

The mock trial ended at 8.30. It started a little bit past 6. By then I was quite hungry because I didn't eat before that (just in case I threw everything up - no, really, I wasn't hungry). So after the whole thing ended we went to eat at some little pub place. KW's friend Hannah, who is totally, totally cool and also very hot, went off to meet a guy, so she didn't come along, sadly. I don't usually feel somewhat at ease with people I've only just met, but I actually felt pretty comfortable around her. She has that effect on people. And she's totally cool. She's like this huge environmentalist and I totally respect that because as much as I'd like to completely subscribe to environmentalist ideals, I've bought too much into consumerism and whatever else to change my lifestyle that drastically.

Simply put? I'm a selfish, hypocritical bitch. Yep.

Anyway, KW tried to lead us to this place where he went to before, but he ended up getting lost. I was wearing my fugly-as-hell corporate-ish garb which I hate with all my heart and soul, I was wearing super uncomfortable shoes that I only wear for law stuff because I can't be bothered to buy proper black shoes (they're like strappy heels), and I was carrying not just my laptop, but my CLT book as well in my arms. I'm so surprised that I didn't whine about how tired I was and how much my legs hurt and how much I wanted to die whatever, and just sucked it up and walked. Simon and KW offered to carry my stuff for me but I like knowing that I can manage on my own and hell I CAN manage on my own so I was all, It's okay.

The pizza was niceeeee. Unfortunately it was like 9-something and I was already over the hungry phase so I had 2 slices. It was good though. The two guys sitting at the table next to us were talking about some educational thingy and whenever I caught whiff of their conversation I kind of wanted to laugh but I don't remember what they said so it must've been the way they said it (i.e. Singaporeanly). Simon got KW started on Thomas Hobbes' theory (I forgot what it's called) which basically espoused that humans aren't inherently good, and for some odd reason I actually went, "But they ARE inherently good!" Then KW went into this whole analysis of why Hobbes is correct and at the end of it, all I could think of was, "Yeah, but people are still inherently good!" I didn't say anything though, 'cause I couldn't have justified myself anyway. It was one of those instinctive, gut reactions that you get when faced with an issue like that, a feeling you can't understand, let alone explain. Why is it this way? It just is. Period.

I could've sworn, though, that at some point in time I thought like him too. Age has softened me; I'm becoming reactionary, like an old person. How I long for the fuck-care...I don't know, hedonism of teenagehood!

But honestly, I think I'm more of a disappointed idealist than a cynic. KW is a true-blue cynic. He likened courtship/relationship/whatever to an investment and the literati that HAS to be residing in me or else I will die wanted to say, Fuck, that's completely cold! Because it is, but what's the point of saying it? Who cares about relationships anyway, right?

Anyway, for some weird reason, KW started seriously taking the piss out of me after a while. Apparently he said it was because I started doing it to him first, but when asked to elaborate on the instances during which I took the piss, he couldn't provide me with any evidence whatsoever. Maybe it was because...well, I don't know, I seriously don't remember anything contentious that I might've said to him, but I've never been very sensitive to the weight and the effect of the things I say anyway. I just assume that everyone knows that I'm joking when I say things that, when taken out of context, will seem rude and cold and mean. Maybe I should just start being nicer to everyone.

KW described my Chinese as "painful" and Simon just sat there and laughed and concurred. What the hell? Simon, if you're reading this, you better buy me Ben and Jerry's ice-cream to make it up to me! Boohoo. I still remember how Haojun/Mr. Nerd said that I speak with a strange ang moh-ish accent when I spoke to him in Chinese in JC1. That's so impossible because I actually think that I speak better Chinese than the average Singaporean, and that my accent is more "Singaporean trying to be Taipei", since I LOVE the accent over there and I watch Taiwanese variety shows like Kang Xi Lai Le and Quan Min Da Men Guo which are superb. But my accent's not Singaporean either because I can actually, gasp, pronounce words correctly. Oh, I don't know. I just need to live in Taipei again.

Anyway, to conclude, I find KW superbly amusing and Simon thinks he's smart, which he is. If this keeps up I'm gonna start calling him Mr. Super Brain in this online diary really soon. And um...I forgot what else I wanted to say.

I wanted to post pictures but I discovered that I look damn ugly in them so I'm not posting them anymore.

I haven't taken out my eyes. I'm feeling lazy. I didn't listen at all during Company lecture today because, like, it made no sense and I was late so I missed the beginning. I'm ALWAYS late for school nowadays. But most of the time I'm just too lazy to hurry.

I discovered that nowadays my appetite is going wonky. Like, one minute I'd be super hungry, which would prompt me to eat something, and the next I'd be super full. I'm not even trying to diet anymore 'cause this crazy-ass appetite is doing all the work for me - including the exercising. Do you have any idea how inconsistent I've become for my swimming? I didn't swim today because it rained and hence it was cold. And for the past few days I either had mock trial or I had to prepare for mock trial or I had Company tutorial until super late. Yet, my light denim mini skirt from Outfitter Girls or whatever the heck it is has suddenly become so damn big that I can pull it off without messing around with the buttons and zippers. I mean, that skirt has always been a size too big, but nowadays it's quite ridiculous. My arms also seem to have got smaller, and I actually saw my shoulder blade jutting out today in the reflection of the mirrors in the life while pressing the lift door open for my mom.

When my ribcage starts showing, I'm gonna bloody start bingeing. I don't want to be skinny; it's so ugly. All I'm trying to lose is the tummy and now my fucking shoulder blade is jutting out!? Oh my god. I was in lecture one day and looking around 'cause I was bored and I saw this girl who was wearing some spaghetti-strapped tank top or something and I actually saw her spine. THAT was completely freaky.

I want Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010