i don't know where we are going now.
written: 9:22 a.m. on Sunday, Nov. 12, 2006
I am very sleepy right now but I can't sleep so I won't even bother trying to go back to bed. I probably slept at 2 a.m. this morning or something; I can't remember. Obviously, I wasn't studying.
I haven't started studying at all and I'm this close to freaking out so I think I better do something about that. I hate exams because they are inconvenient and a major pain in the ass and I really don't feel like dealing with them but as always, I haven't got a real choice, and that sucks so much more than words could possibly describe.
My writing sucks. Fuck. It's too early to think. But it's not about thinking, is it? Sometimes I wish the words would just flow and that they would flow in an eloquent and impressive manner but most of the time I'm faced with a dam and not knowing what to do.
I still can't believe it's 9.28 a.m. and I'm wide awake. What the hell.
Also, I'm way too easy to find. I found out the other day that if one googles my real name, my URL shows up as the sixth result. I think it's the result of people linking to me and everything, which is all well and good and I don't have a problem with that, but I'm getting increasingly paranoid about certain people finding this and I don't want them to read this at all. And yet, I'm way too narcissistic and egotistical (as opposed to egoistic) to make this private, so I guess I don't really have any room to complain.
Bleah. The last I googled my name, before the most recent googling, all I got were a bunch of Turkish pages with my URL showing up after the first few pages of search results. This is terribly upsetting.
Also? I'm officially not straight-edged anymore. And I swear that that'd be the last time I ever succumb to peer pressure; the next time I consume alcohol, I will do it on my own accord.
Haha. I'm too lazy to go into details so suffice it to say that last night was very interesting and it was a first in a lot of ways. Yep.
I should start studying soon. I don't feel like going for the 2 p.m. tutorial tomorrow. But it's not nice to just show up for the earlier class without first informing the tutor, and I'm too lazy to email her. Besides, what am I gonna say? Hi Prof, I'm going for the 12 noon class 'cause I don't feel like going for the 2 p.m. one? Right.
This entry is freaking pointless.
I realise that I have a slight tendency to pronounce 'fuck' as 'feck'. And that is extremely lame. It has to go. Now.
Somehow, it feels like the exams are already over, or that the exams aren't real. My ability to procrastinate and burn bridges only when I get to them, nevermind that I'm already standing on the freaking bridge, never ceases to amaze me. This inertia has long taken root. I desperately need a way around it.
Focus, Self. Binomial distributions. It's really do or die, this time round.
**
Ripped off from Khai. One word answers:
1. Yourself:
Inevitable
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend (spouse),
Huh?
3. Your hair:
Messy
4. Your mother:
Awesome
5. Your father:
Awesome
6. Your favorite item:
Laptop
7. Your dream last night:
Buffy
8. Your favorite drink:
Coffee
9. Your dream car:
Peugeot
10. The room you are in:
Bedroom
11. Your ex:
Which?
12. Your fear:
Mediocrity
13. What you want to be in 10 years?
Writer
14. Who you hung out with last night?
Friends
15. What you're not?
Studying
16. Muffins:
Ew
17. One of your wish list items:
Nothing
18. Time:
Exists
19. The last thing you did:
Ate
20. What you are wearing:
Jacket
21. Your favorite weather:
Rainy
22. Your favorite book:
Metroland
23. The last thing you ate:
Tiramisu
24. Your Life:
Uneventful
25. Your Mood:
Lazy
26. Your best friend:
Rocks
27. What are you thinking about right now?
Exams
28. Your car:
Later
29. What are you doing at the moment?
Procrastinating
30. Your summer:
Shrug
31. Your relationship status:
Indifferent
32. What is on your tv?
Nothing
33. What is the weather like?
Cold
34. When is the last time you laughed?
Psycho-analysis?
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010