time for a diagnosis.
written: 6:31 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 23, 2006

Other than that? I have really, truly fucked up this time. I can't even assess whether or not last year was worse; they both feel the same to me, except this time round I'm groundlessly assured by a false sense of security that I must've mindlessly snatched from thin air in my sleep.

I'm making open-book notes for Mortgages and I'm very alarmed to discover that the syllabus for this stupid topic itself is like, three pages long. Fuck fuck fuck. I wish I'd started studying earlier. ARGH I'M AN IDIOT. This is totally the epitome of the grammar of tragedy, as explained by Tim Dore ("If only..." you know the rest).

I really need to stop committing academic suicide. Simultaneously, I can't concentrate on studying for longer than 15 minutes and I don't know why. Worse still, I can't stay up past 2 a.m. nowadays and I actually wake up at 12.30 p.m. nearly every day, which means I'm wasting a lot more time than I'd thought. I just wanna die now, or something.

Breaking for dinner.

**

Back. It's 7.57 p.m.

Hearty congratulations and cheers and all things warm and happy to JoMel. Go read her to find out why! She writes fantastically well too so it'll definitely be worth your while.

I think I should revisit CLT tonight. But I haven't even done a third of the mortgages chapter. OMG. I'm so dead. I shall think happy thoughts to keep me going, happy thoughts about all the things I'm gonna do after the exams, free from guilt and stress and sleepless nights (not that I'm getting much of those lately; it's a figure of speech). I wanna watch this German film that I came across in a copy of 8 Days that some random person living in my block dropped into my mailbox. Uh, I can't remember the title. It sounded damn intriguing. It's three hours long. Yay for long movies.

Oh, and it's R(21). Bleah.

A restless quiet grows. I want to do nothing but write. This urge should have hit me earlier, not now in the middle of law school exams. There's a boy standing at the other side of the picture, holding up a green luminous exit sign. An arrow pointing to the way out of here. When I'm about to cross over he tells me that there's a caveat attached, and that I've been warned. I guess the heart-warming part is the part where I say, It's the thought that counts.

Eh, I don't know. I'm thinking in riddles and nothing is making any sense right now. This is a failed entry.

Before I post it, I would like to give a shout out to Rui, Mag and Simon, the three people who were bored enough to sit through the entire 101 questions-long survey I posted yesterday. You guys are nuts. And I mean that in a good way. Hehe.

More mortgages. How fun and exciting. I get very upset when I read the phrase 'floating charge' because studying for Property is my way of escaping from Company. Sigh. I'm gonna rely on nothing but muggers for Company. I so can't be bothered to study for it. This is bad. Whatever. This entry sucks.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010