everything we do.
written: 8:42 p.m. on Monday, Mar. 19, 2007

We celebrated Angela's 21st, albeit quite belatedly. Simon, Baoyue and I actually arranged to meet ten minutes before 6 to write her a birthday card but Angela, being Angela, ended up arriving earlier than the two of them (I was already at Clarke Quay hours before; sat at Starbucks trying to read Public Law but failed quite miserably). On to Plan B then, which involved me forcing Angela to visit the loo with me while Simon and Baoyue wrote in the card. The funny thing? When we came back from the toilet, the card was right on the table and BY had a pink marker, uncapped, and a black pen in her hands; Simon was holding on to the envelope. HAHAHA. I thought the cat was out of the bag for sure but Angela didn't say anything and the three of us acted nonplussed, like nothing was going on. So dinner came and dinner went, we drank a hell lot of green tea, I had to pee again and asked Angela to go to the loo with me once more.

When we came back this time round, BY and S were putting the finishing touches on the card. Angela saw it for real this time and apparently she had no idea what we were doing at all, not even after the first toilet visit. Haha! I wonder what she thought BY was doing with the marker and the black pen and why Simon had a green envelope with him.

We had dinner at Waruku and I hated my food and Simon finished the rest of it for me, as usual. Hung out at TCC after where I passed on coffee liquer 'cause I wanted to save money, oh my god. Could've done with a cocktail or a beer but coffee is good anytime, anyday. Besides, it was the company that counted and Baoyue stole my camera and started taking random shots and I stole Angela's camera and took this super funny shot of Simon and Angela laughed really bloody hard at it and it was all good.

The last time the four of us hung out was in December last year. Funny how time flies, eh? I think so too.

**

Mag, Chloe and I had a nice conversation after Equity lecture at the canteen about parents and independence and breaking away. I'm quite aware that I'm not the most independent of individuals around and I'm also aware that I've relied rather heavily on my parents my whole life when it comes to the simple, mundane stuff - like getting a ride to school every day, getting a ride home from the Upper Bukit Timah bus stop because walking is too tiring, not asserting myself enough/at all when it comes to staying out late at night, things like that. Last night I called home to ask my mom to record Ugly Betty for me and as per usual, she said, "Come home earlier!"

I answered, "Uh, why?"

She shot back with, "Did you bring your keys?"

I didn't. In fact, I only consciously bring my keys when going out when I'm going to school, only because I need to open my mailbox in school. I take it for granted that there'll be someone at home to open the door for me - which is definitely true if I reach home before 12 a.m. But what if I don't wanna go home before 12? What if I want to stay out later with my friends?

It's small things like that that are working against me. Of course, I feel obliged to reach home before 12 because I know my dad will be waiting for me and he probably won't sleep until I've reached home; but increasingly I feel like my situation is getting ridiculous and that I have to stop relying on them for the small things in order to slowly break away.

(Side note: Apparently a decent two-room apartment in a decent location costs about $700,000. I think I need to start saving up for my apartment. Like, NOW.)

Anyway, whatever, there are more but I don't feel like writing about it. Suffice to say that the conversation was good and it's also good to know that others are going through the same thing.

Had gelato at Swirl with Mag and it was another awesome conversation. That's exactly why I love Mondays - post-lecture ice-cream sessions with Mag and now post-lecture conversations with Mag AND Chloe. Tris was around for a bit and he was very entertaining. Sometimes I honestly think I go to school just for the friends and not so much for the academic stuff. The latter is, quite frankly, still boring, while the former is what makes life bearable and good.

**

When it comes to the big things though, the important things, I'm stubborn as a bull. Most of the time I won't see any other viewpoints but my own. Maybe I'm not as smart as I think I am, but the decisions and choices that I make are my own, for better or for worse.

**

A general for-your-information to whomever it may concern:

This is my fourth attempt writing this. The first three tries were eventually discarded because...just because. I don't know. I don't think keeping silent is the way to go anymore so I will write this again and this time I will post it.

Law school is a gossipy place, yes. I knew that people were going to talk about what happened, yes. But I think I was awfully naive when I thought that people would stop talking after a while, or that...

Okay. Screw the preamble. I'll just get to the point.

1. The average observer/the average acquaintance/the average third party probably thinks I was the victim in the entire...affair, for want of a better word. I don't know how else to say this so I'll just say it thus: I wasn't the victim. There was no victim. What happened wasn't anyone's fault and finger-pointing is a waste of time.

2. He didn't do a hit and run on me. I honestly don't know how the hell anyone got such an idea but it's completely untrue and bloody ridiculous and it greatly annoys me that people think this way because 1) he's not that kind of guy; and 2) I'm not that kind of girl, i.e. I'm not that stupid.

I can't control what anyone says and certainly not what anyone thinks. But it's got to a point where I think it's utterly unfair to him, what some people are saying, because there's absolutely no basis for any of it. Bunch of lies, cheap lunch time canteen gossip, I don't know, just stop talking and mind your own business.

So, yeah. I've said my piece.

**

I miss Taipei.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010