new // old // about // extras // layout // notes // email // diaryland | |
love for stereophonics. Anyway, I watched Knocked Up and The Simpsons yesterday (Tuesday, 31 July). Knocked Up was awesome, The Simpsons was okay. But I've never been much of a cartoon person, so there you go. At the end of Knocked Up I found myself thinking that I might want to have a kid in the future. I think it's seriously time I shot myself in the head. Because that probably means I want to get married - which is horrifying as it goes against every single fucking thing I ever stood for. And let's not forget the fact that I've never been in a long-term relationship. I was going to say that I've never been in a relationship that lasted for more than ten months but I don't really consider the first boyfriend a real relationship because it was...completely meaningless and empty, not to mention more or less purely hormonally-charged, so I chose to say that I've never been in a long-term relationship instead. I think we've probably had this conversation before, but in any case, there's something wrong with me. It must be the case, must it not? I'm too short-tempered, I'm too cynical, I'm too cold, I'm too emotional, I'm too clingy, I'm too needy. What else was it my ex-boyfriends said about me? I'm too smart. I'm not mature enough. I'm too uncaring. I'm uncaring, period. I'm too caustic, too self-centered, not independent enough. Oh, fuck it all. Sometimes I find myself wishing that I could be the person that everyone expects me to be instead of falling short all the time. It would save us all a lot of time and energy wasted on tears and hurt and whatever else. Because there comes a point in time when enough is enough, but not quite enough, and there is really no finishing line in sight. You know, I really do like Stereophonics. And maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home. Maybe tomorrow, indeed. ** I've changed my phone. Old text messages stored in the old phone cannot be transferred to the new one; but old text messages stored on the SIM card have been carried over, the only difference being the dates which have all been reset. I will miss the T630. But there are lots of fun to be had with the new S500i all the same.
before sunrise // before sunset
Previously:
|