i can't think of a title.
written: 11:12 p.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 29, 2007

I have been attempting to bury myself in Nash equilibria and WARP (Weak Axiom Revealed Preferences) and impossibility theorems and rational social choice theory and the dichotomy presented to the said theory by legal reasoning, etc, such that I've been neglecting my other modules. I've done absolutely nothing for Personal Property, I've barely read anything for Evidence, and I haven't read for tomorrow's (today - Wednesday) make-up Emergencies class. And it's on Dicey's rule of law. I hate reading Dicey with the fiery passion of a thousand sun.

Ergo, I'm going to school early - i.e. at 10 AM which is DAMN early for me - to do my readings despite the fact that class is at 2.15 PM. I lead such a sad, sad life, indeed. And I swear, I have never spent so much time in school in such a short period of time before. The past two years have been a hit and run sort of thing - go to school, attend classes, go home. No such thing as go to school hours before class starts to do readings, let alone stay in school to do readings for an extended period of time, i.e. more than 30 minutes.

It's all quite liberating really, and for the first time in a very, very long while, I feel light-hearted and at ease with everything. I think maybe I'm avoiding an issue, or distracting myself with something else, but I don't want to deal with that anymore. Any mention of it, even the slightest hint of it, is enough to make me block out everything that's associated with it.

For now, it's out of sight, out of mind. I need other things to matter to me. So, yeah.

Anyway, I'm very pleased that I got into Pro Bono's CLAS (Criminal Legal Aid Scheme) project. I've been wanting to do an internship there since Year 1. I did apply in Year 1, but because it was Year 1, I didn't get the spot. I didn't apply in Year 2 because I had internships at law firms and I didn't want to spend my entire holiday on interning. And with pupillage applications waiting for me at the end of Year 3, I thought it was time that I got my ass down to CLAS before it's too late.

Simply put, I need to decide if I can/want to do Criminal Law. I need to see if I can handle the emotional entanglements that I'm guessing will come with the job, especially since I get emotionally involved with and attached to people quite easily. I honestly don't know how I'd react to dealing with accused persons face-to-face; I already feel sorry for criminals I read about in (badly written) news articles and (dehumanised) law judgments (okay, headnotes). It also doesn't help that I don't believe in the death penalty in a country where there's the mandatory death sentence, and where the former CJ wrote very strange and illiberal judgments that I can never, ever agree with.

So yeah. We'll see how this new endeavour of mine pans out. I hope it goes well.

Wednesday, Aug. 29, 2007
12:11 a.m.

I can't remember what I wrote at 12 a.m. and I'm too lazy to scroll up to check so I apologise if I repeat myself.

I'm really tired right now and I'm not doing anything to prepare for tomorrow's horrendous 9.30 a.m. Personal Property Law seminar because I'm too tired. I reached school at 8.45 in the morning today even though my class was at 2.15. And I got immensely irritated with myself because I took the entire morning - 8.45 to 1.15 - to read a thin compilation of Dicey on Martial Law and this short Dyzenhaus extract on the said subject. How very inefficient. After the first hour had passed, I found myself distracted by...well, everything and nothing, and a while later I found myself falling asleep.

Ergo, I'm DAMN SLEEPY right now.

In other news, I couldn't follow the discussion in my Emergencies class because Shaun is too smart for me to understand and I was really sleepy. On Monday I watched 1408 with Simon at 9 p.m. My first sneak preview ever, my first horror movie in forever, and it was absolutely free. Needless to say, after John Cusack got into the room, I spent the entire time "watching" it with my eyes half-closed or cast down at my bag.

Fucking scary lah. Even though it really wasn't scary. My idea of scary shouldn't be trusted because I don't do horror movies, so...yeah.

I am not really in the mood to write.

before sunrise // before sunset

Previously:
- - Tuesday, Aug. 29, 2017
I'm moving. - Sunday, Jul. 11, 2010
In all honesty - Tuesday, Jul. 06, 2010
What I want for my birthday... - Sunday, Jul. 04, 2010
On Roger's behalf. - Friday, Jul. 02, 2010